beccatoria: (morally ambiguous middle-aged cyborg who)
This ain't flocked cus it ain't secret, but also, it's just me rambling about personal crap, so feel free to move on. ;) No awesome geeky fandom content here!

***

So...once upon a time, I kind of wanted to be a writer, because I like writing and it sounded more fun than a real job. And I was sort of good at it, at least good enough to ace my pointless undergrad creative writing degree and sail through my pointless masters, before landing in the real world and discovering neither made me employable in any sense of the word. (I am too hard on myself; I knew exactly how ten-a-penny and useless they would prove to be before I took them, but I loved writing, and it sounded more fun than a real degree.)

(Let us also acknowledge and move past my simultaneous desire to badmouth my own academic achievements as worthless in order to prove I am a realist at the same time I hate the realist worldview that demands it and wonder why an arts degree in writing is considered less impressive than an arts degree in drawing, painting, music or film direction.)

So anyway. I love writing, but fuck me if I can handle plot. I hate plot. I'm bad at plot. All my plots require long, drawn out backstory explanations that are...boring and confuse people. The plot and I are nemeses.

And that's when writing stops being fun and starts being work and I tell myself I'm not giving up, I'm just...wandering away for a while few months four years.

(OMFG, srsly, I got my masters almost five years ago, I was 21, I was a baby - the youngest on the course and I don't think I had a teacher who didn't remark on that; it felt like there was absolutely no hurry and then suddenly shit happens, I've lived in three different countries, gotten married, am closer to my 27th birthday than my 26th, and know more about mental illness - not mine - than I ever, ever wanted to, from both ends of the system. I wonder where the time went and then I think, that's where it went. On my unspectacular, unique life. I wanted to write a book. I never had the time plot.)

Last week, I had an awful week. It sucked ass. And, for some reason, it gave me a plot. I had actual ideas about...not the nitty gritty detail plot; the sleight-of-hand that makes "and then they went to this place and found this clue!" moments seem organic rather than arbitrary, and I'm sure that will terrify me still. But about how to hang the idea I've had for two years on an honest-to-god sequence of events that involves four distinct protagonists and parallel plotlines and revelations and events. It has, I hope, a perspective-shifting endpoint, and characters who, through their existence, ask interesting questions. And the only human is dead and stuck in a robot body, which possibly I should address, but then again maybe not.

The point is, I'm kind of terrified. Cus now I have to write it. Which, if I do it, is going to be amazing. Cus I love writing. I love it. I always forget until I'm doing it and then...I have no words to explain how fantastic it is.

But now I don't have an excuse; now I might fail; now the way it is in my head might not be the way it is on paper.

I mean, I'm okay. I'm going to try and do this; I want to - that's half the reason I'm posting, diary-style, here. To remind myself I can.

But I feel like I'm about to jump off a cliff.
beccatoria: (laura praying)
PART 3

Title: The Body is a Myth
Word Count: 28,182 (complete: all three parts.)
Spoilers: AU from 4x09 The Hub, but major spoilers for 4x10 Revelations.
Rating: Um, PG-13ish, I guess?
Disclaimer: Not mine, making no money.
Summary: Laura dies and wakes up on a basestar, Natalie is alive, and D'Anna breaks Kara Thrace by telling her the name of the final cylon. Then, of course, they get to Earth. JUMP!
with many thanks to [livejournal.com profile] asta77 for the beta.

The Body is a Myth (3/3) )

* * *

Author's Notes. )

PART 1
PART 2
beccatoria: (starbuck)
So, this is that thing I was talking about. It's enormous and therefore in multiple posts. It's also finished. The first 2,700 words were originally posted in this post, although they are also reposted here as there have been some minor edits to that section. And I want it all in one place. As you can see, I started this over seven months ago, although it languished on my HD for about five of those. It's so odd to actually finish something. As [livejournal.com profile] hmpf says, I'm back in the fic fold. :/

PART 1

Title: The Body is a Myth
Word Count: 28,182 (complete: all three parts.)
Spoilers: AU from 4x09 The Hub, but major spoilers for 4x10 Revelations.
Rating: Um, PG-13ish, I guess?
Disclaimer: Not mine, making no money.
Summary: Laura dies and wakes up on a basestar, Natalie is alive, and D'Anna breaks Kara Thrace by telling her the name of the final cylon. Then, of course, they get to Earth. JUMP!
with many thanks to [livejournal.com profile] asta77 for the beta.

The Body is a Myth )

END PART 1

PART 2.
beccatoria: (agent ellison come with me)
Oh, all right. I still don't love it like burning, but when you start getting vid bunnies (even if they're the ones you're trying to ignore), it's time to call it quits and get an icon.

Plus there's the fact that I appear to be developing a rather large crush on Agent Ellison. It's somewhat embarassing. But not quite as embarassing as the time I realised I fancied Sam Anders. (Yes, I always get embarassed about having crushes on people; I go through denial, then bargaining, then acceptance. No, I'm not sure why either).

But seriously, where are all the Agent Ellison icons? Am I going to be forced to accept that NOT everyone thinks the show should be all about him, and perhaps Sarah? And that every episode ought to feature them having angsty conversations and nuanced portrayals of faith and robots?

I looked for like a whole THIRTY MINUTES and I only found two, and the other one was kinda crappy. It could have been worse, I could have been looking for Shirely Manson Catherine Weaver icons. There weren't any of those. But that's okay cus I don't really like her. Whereas:

AGENT ELLISON, DAMMIT! HE DOES AWESOME THINGS LIKE TEACH ROBOTS ABOUT GOD BECAUSE THAT ALWAYS LEADS TO PEACE AND HARMONY, AMIRITE?

And...there wasn't really any point to this post. Like, at all.

Also: I have inexplicably finished that fic I started about six months ago (where Natalie was alive and stuff), and I'm not really sure how that happened or how it got to be so long. I've become comfortable with being a fanvidder but I still feel odd about writing fiction like this that's not, like, as a result of a prompt or something. Which I'd try to explain but I already established I get embarassed and awkward about the stupidest stuff. So, my goal is to get it beta'd and such by the time the new series starts so it can invalidate it all. GO ME!

Also: Happy New Year to all you suckers who have to wait an extra 9 - 17ish hours for 2009!

Also: I am reading the script for the Caprica pilot. I am, so far, supremely unimpressed but I'm not that far through with it yet. It could redeem itself. More news as it breaks.
beccatoria: (crossbones)
Well...I thought I'd write up all the stuff I learned and it'd be long. But really it's pretty damn short:

1) At least within a smaller story, such as the ones I was writing, I am nowhere near as bad at plot as I thought. Though I do not believe I could as easily write one that spanned a novel(la).

2) I am already forgetting that for about a week I felt like I was not bad at plot.

3) Yes. Still love the whole writing thing. Love it.

4) Should probably do this again, and should probably keep trying to write more in between. We'll see.

Finally, thank you everyone who gave me a prompt or commented; you helped me probably more than you'll ever know. So, from my heart, thank you all.
beccatoria: (star wars dead blue)
So, the last (and sinfully late, and at 200 words, sinfully short) writing request, for [livejournal.com profile] hmpf. Thanks for helping me out with this project, and I'll be posting thoughts on what I've learned through completing it soon(ish). So - for now - onwards with this piece of weirdness.

The Bravest Kid in Town. )

* * *

Authorial Ramblings... )

Still...there you have it. Weirdness. Don't say I didn't warn you!
beccatoria: (starbuck)
Writing request for [livejournal.com profile] greycoupon! Who requested either Hera's first words, or Starbuck making new year's resolutions. So I tried to give you both, after a fashion!

Disclaimer: Not mine, making no money.

Babysitter. )

* * *

Authorial Ramblings... )

Thanks all, and next up is [livejournal.com profile] hmpf's surrealistic prompt about animals. WISH ME LUCK!
beccatoria: (ivanova talia subtext)
Next, on becca-write-to-order-with-sucky-titles (srsly, if anyone has a better one I'm open to suggestions) we have [livejournal.com profile] projectjulie's story! It's ZOMG 5,350 words.

The prompt I used was: Roslin/Maya/Six, shape of future - they thought Maya was just an ordinary girl, an innocent bystander to history (they couldn't have been more wrong)

Disclaimer: don't own, no money!

I am Maya Argo. )

* * *

Authorial Ramblings... )

Next up is more BSG for [livejournal.com profile] greycoupon this time probably feature Hera instead of Isis! Again, I'm looking to keep up with momentum, so I don't like using excuses but I'm moving house in about a week and I have to spend at least some of the upcoming weekend buying packing materials and starting that whole awful process so it may be Sunday by the time I get yours done. Hope that's all good!

See y'all soon! :)
beccatoria: (ace is not amused)
Okay, sorry guys - but the next prompt won't be up tonight. In my defense, I have written about as much as I have on other evenings (and I have been at work all day), it's just this one's shaping up to be a bit longer. Probably longer even than the Laura/Lee piece which I got a start on the evening before I posted, having finished the preceeding piece a little early. I think I'm about 2/3rds of the way through? Maybe 1/2? Either way, it'll be up tomorrow. I promise.

I know I don't have official deadlines, but I don't want to lose momentum. So I just thought I'd update everyone who might be keeping vague tabs on this project as to where I was at.

But soon! Soon there will be non-explicit BSG girlslash for [livejournal.com profile] projectjulie! I'm using the Laura/Maya/Six "shape of the future" prompt.
beccatoria: (crossbones)
Next writing request! For [livejournal.com profile] tiniago, who asked me to write about a half-dozen things but the one I picked (and I didn't even pick one of the braver ones!) was to write about the whacky hijincks of 17th century alchemists in a tower in Prague. So here's 2,300 words of:

What Really Happened to Amelia Earhart. )

***

Authorial Ramblings... )

Next up, if I can come up with something by tomorrow (THINK BRAIN, THINK!) is girlslash for [livejournal.com profile] projectjulie. The goal is tomorrow, but I have to work and I can't do any more on it tonight, so it may end up a day late. That said, I'm quite attached to my one-day-deadline. So we'll see... ;)
beccatoria: (Default)
For [livejournal.com profile] were_lemur! Who challenged me to write something in some way inspired by the awesome Star Wars & Pants Game, wherein you replace key words from Star Wars quotes with the word "pants"! This actually isn't a silly story (well, not really, though it might be daft). The first line is a "pantsed" quote, and I took it from there.

Disclaimer - not mine! No money being made! Don't tax me!

Like Pants & Taxes )

***

Authorial Ramblings... )

Next up, a story for [livejournal.com profile] tiniago, and if you've read her prompt(s), you'll know why I'm a leeeeeeetle nervous... ;)
beccatoria: (laura roslin this damn much)
Next up on becca's write-o-rama is [livejournal.com profile] asta77's request for a missing Lee/Laura scene from Razor. So, (because I still suck at titles) I present 3,000ish words of:

ETA: it's been a long time since I did this - disclaimer; I don't own these characters or this setting and I'm not making any money!

How to leave with everything you came for. )

***

Authorial Ramblings... )

Next up, some STAR WARS for [livejournal.com profile] were_lemur! I'll be as quick as I can but this one took quite a while so I'm a bit behind on my schedule. Plus your prompt is a headscratcher! But I'm still aiming to have it up for tomorrow. Oh, also, if you see this, your LJ profile and icons suggest you're pretty well aware of the Star Wars Expanded Universe; so if you don't want your fic making use of my vast interest in that, please let me know now while I'm still in the planning stages! :D

Finally HAPPY GREGORIAN NEW YEAR! May you all have a wonderfully Gregorian 2008! :)
beccatoria: (monica hell yeah heroes)
Okay! Next up on the writing request is [livejournal.com profile] i_kender's request for some zombie apocalypse fic. I have done my best to oblige!

Clocks in at about 1600 words.

Heave. )

***

Authorial Ramblings... )

[livejournal.com profile] i_kender - thanks again for the prompt; whether the story ends up one of my best or kind of shabby, it's really good to have the motivation to actually write and finish these little, short tales.

Next up - [livejournal.com profile] asta77 requests some Lee & Laura in Razor! Now I just have to get an idea...
beccatoria: (sw concept)
As you may be aware - in the post below this one, I started accepting writing prompts. I can't say how quickly but it's my intention to get through all the comments in order. If the piece is short enough (a few paragraphs or so), as I imagine many of them will be, they'll just go in response to the comment - so it might be worth checking back if you're waiting on something.

But if it gets a little longer, like this one, (approx 1100 words) I'll post in a separate entry.

So: for [livejournal.com profile] spiralsheep, here is The Supermarket, for I suck at titles.

The Supermarket )



...ta-da! ;)

Authorial Rambling... )
beccatoria: (crossbones)
Okay, here's the deal. I like writing. I think I'm not too bad at it. No, wait, I love writing. And I don't do it enough anymore. I'm...shabby at plot, and tend to focus on words too much, maybe? I wish I could fix that part of me. The people who can spin a tale - three or foud different threads impacting on each other - amazes me.

But back to the point: the deal -

Give me a prompt and I'll write you something. Maybe a paragraph, maybe more. Hopefully more. But give me anything.

I won't be upset if in a few days there's nothing here in the comments, but I will be thrilled if there is.

And I'm serious; anything. Original fiction, fan fiction, poetry, humour, drama, angst, apocalypse, romance, noir. I don't mind trying to challenge myself, so things that might squick me are acceptable too. I'll just have to write around that and see where it leads me.

Be as brief or as detailed as you like.

Please. I'd really, really appreciated it if you gave me a prompt.

Thank you.
beccatoria: (kara leoben flesh & bone)
Spamming because I'm bored. Also not real writing because it's not finished or beta'd or anything. It's just a draft, really, so no worries on comments or anything. Just a post-3.20 fragment. I'm toying with trying to make it into an actual story. I think I see the edges of a plot.

And if Starbuck sounds weird - that's because she is. I mean, how would you feel if you'd just gotten spat out of a maelstrom in a viper?

So, self-indulgent rambling I'm mostly posting so's I won't lose it when my computer crashes again, but am not bothering to lock:

Starbuck gets back to Galactica. )
beccatoria: (evey v4v who i am becoming)
First off - a BIG thanks to everyone who responded to my previous, manic entry.

I'd respond individually but I don't know how to make "THANK YOU! THANK YOU A THOUSAND TIMES OVER!" seem non-repetetive. So just consider yourself recipients of said message. ;)

More blather about the Crash; what I lost; what I saved. )

Sooo.

It was kind of weird seeing what made it through the Crash or not. It was so random. So much stuff just gone, but stuff that survived that I'd forgotten I even had/had written.

Like these two things. They must have been from stories I had ideas for at some point, but now? Couldn't tell you. They're just two two paragraph sketches floating in the ether.

Sketch 1. )



Sketch 2. )

A the moment I think I like the first one better. Hmm.
beccatoria: (evey v4v who i am becoming)
This is one of those rambly real-life posts. With a bit of Battlestar Galactica, for I am obsessed.

1. It occurs to me that writing, much like the author of "Jennifer Government," suggests at the back of his book, is a constant war against playing minesweeper with your work open in the background.

2. Of course, it's also a war against starting a new BSG video (this time it will be Laura Roslin / Lee Adama, but I'm scared I don't have enough clips, even though I successfully vidded Roslin to rap music and thus should be afraid of NOTHING. Also, I don't have the time).

3. It's also a war against continually re-watching the latest webisode, because that was pretty sweet. At first I was like, okay, here's the reverse-psychology where poor, broken Jammer gets given an 'easy out' and decides to side with the cylons because they gave him juice. Except it wasn't quite like that. I really enjoyed watching Doral. I appreciated that Jammer still refused to join the police, and vehemently so. That makes the situation more sympathetic, more tragic that he's going to do so much *worse* damage by being, effectively, a snitch from the inside even though he thinks he's doing something honourable. That's a pretty cool double play - piss him off with the NCP then offer him something that, in the wake of his outburst, seems so much smaller and more rational.

4. Apparently writing is also a war against unnecessarily updating one's LJ.

5. "The Book" is going badly. I am totally stuck. I want to write a short story about that year I spent where my best friend spoke to his rucksack, which we both agreed spoke only within the limits of his imagination. )

I think I will go to the Chinese Supermarket Outlaw Trading Post and see if they have any coconut thingies. Or chocolate soy-bean milk. Yes. That is what I will do.
beccatoria: (waldorf statler muppets)
So I decided to find out whether my suspicion was right, and whether the Beach Scene in the last episode of Doctor Who really was filmed on Southerndown Beach. (I was probably the only person watching the scene thinking, DAMMIT, QUIT WITH THE CLOSEUPS!)

Yay, it was! I love that beach. It's the most awesomest beach ever. It's so awesome, for my eighteenth birthday, I actually made my parents hire a mini van and someone to drive me and my friends down there for the day. It was the best birthday ever. Seriously, my love of this beach is totally irrational. It's just beautiful.

It's been ages since I posted any bits or pieces of writing on this blog (probably because I'm avoidant and shy about that sort of thing, but this place is anonymous enough I'm cool with it. I makes me feel I've accomplished something by being brave and also, if I don't have anything new to post, it's like...an unavoidable demonstration of my failure to produce anything. The *theory* being it'll prod me into writing more regularly). I've been struggling a bit to get back into it. I'm also still warring with my bloody desire to write fan fiction for this stupid show.

As a sort of compromise, since I don't really want to write fan fiction, and since I haven't really got enough new stuff to post from my "book", I'm going to post a nonfiction piece I wrote a while back about Southerndown beach and time and being a kid. I promise, the time aspect is purely coincidental.

I was reworking it today, but the opening paragraph is still refusing to be concise. BLAH! )
beccatoria: (Default)
So, being at a slight loss for what to do, being far too full of malted soy bean milk, and being generally shameless as this is my blog and dammit, whereelse can I be shameless? I figure I might as well post this.

My reasons being a) if I keep posting bits of writing and then, 24 hours later, cringing about what I've unleashed onto the internet, it may keep me focussed on finishing and improving my stuff, and b) why the hell not?

So, here's three scenes (two scenes?) that will probably make not-a-great-deal-of-sense out of context. Possibly not even *in* context... )

Toodles.

June 2016

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