I want to get her in session, give her a hug and tell her I love her but also that she's behaving like a complete shit and she needs to work on getting her act together. And see, that's what Adama should be doing but instead he's perpetuating the cycle.

Yes! He needs to be her parent.

But, I think the problem is that Adama doesn't really think of her as a daughter

See, I think he does, but I think he has unrealistic expectations as a father. Or he's just sometimes a bad father. He takes things very personally and doesn't always respond maturely to "betrayal" which is really just rebellion or a difference of opinion that comes of becoming "your own person" as you grow older. So he really did think of her as a daughter but didn't have a clear idea of what adopting such a damaged person would entail.

I wonder if he didn't adopt Kara to replace his son and to get the military viper pilot child he always wanted? It strikes me that this went both ways and that he was projecting his need for a loyal child onto Kara. It's why I find it telling that this disavowal comes so close to his adoption of Athena. I mean, he forgave Kara for killing his son - yes, after getting mad, but even in the depths of that anger he didn't threaten to disown her.

Anyway, really long thoughts, but thanks for commenting - I love getting comments. :)