Proposition 8 (and those other states that banned gay marriage).

[beccatoria]

...and it was all going so well, too.

I don't...understand it. I mean, Canada has gay marriage. Britain has gay marriage (well, okay, "civil partnerships" which aren't technically 'marriage' but give identical rights to marriage). Nothing exploded. I don't know about Canada but in the UK it wasn't even a very big deal. It was just on the front of the papers one day, "By the way, we now have same-sex civil unions." One day, I went into work and the marital status boxes in the patient database said, "Married/Civil Partnership," and "Widowed/Surviving CP."

GUESS WHAT? NO ONE EXPLODED. My rather everything-o-phobic coworker rolled her eyes at how 'PC' everything was these days, and I rolled my eyes at her, but even that piece of homophobia was at least framed in the context of "why do they have to change the ticky boxes, I bet that took someone X hours and they could have used the money for better things," rather than "why do gay people have to ruin my life by getting married?" I mean, it comes from the same place deep down, but the difference in choice of expression shows a changing attitude as to what's acceptable to say or not.

This isn't an issue that is every likely to affect me because I'm already married and it's to a boy, and in general I like boys more, and because I don't live in the US and probably won't ever move there permanently (though living there for a while is still something I'd like to feel comfortable doing).

But that's just...so entirely beside the point. I don't want my hopeful political high taken away from me but I'm so...genuinely shocked at this result and it upsets me.

Because the part of Obama's speech that brought tears to my eyes wasn't the personal stuff about his family, or even the "this is your victory too," stuff. It was the stuff about the surviving government of the people, by the people, for the people. It was the idealistic crap about our choice to treat each other fairly, to be a democracy, to make sure everyone is heard.

Since when are we in the business of taking rights away from people?

Since fucking when?

It was unfair when the rights of one group to have the rights of the majority was even in question, but it's a whole new ballpark of fucked up when we actually start legislating to remove rights that people have already won.

And 'won' here is an important word because it's not like it was a legal loophole. An actual supreme court rendered a legal verdict. If it was a legal loophole where the letter of the law went against the spirit, then those guys ought to damn well have stopped it from going through at the time.

It's ridiculous, and I'm angry about it. I'm so angry about it, I'm even kind of angry with everyone else who's not angry about it. It's as insanely unfair as it would be to go back and legislate against mixed race marriages or take away women's rights to vote.

This isn't just something gay/bisexual people should care about. This is something everyone should care about. This diminishes all of us and it's ridiculous. And we should be furious.

And right after Obama made a fairly radical decision to include, "gay and straight," like it was an actual, legitimate choice in his acceptance speech too.

Comments

[nicole-anell.livejournal.com]

AMEN.

It's bullshit for such an amendment to even be up for a popular vote. That's not how civil rights work.

[pellucid.livejournal.com]

Word.

The whole thing is just so fucking ridiculous.

And yeah, Canada has not exploded from gay marriage. Not in the least.

[zepooka.livejournal.com]

A couple things from your friendly local Gaymerican:

- I think with all the talk about Prop 8, people forget that California (yes, California!) has banned gay marriage before (in 2000, I think?). They've just been going back and forth so many times with banning and permitting it in the past several years that people thought it might actually stick around this time. The measure passed by a very small margin, and was only so publicized because they spent ridonculous amounts of money on it.
- CA still has civil unions. A lot of US states don't even have that, and have even banned them outright. Virginia is the most aggravating of all, where they won't even recognize the unions of other states. (So if you and your partner, legally unionized in NJ or married in VT, get in a car crash in VA, you have no say at the hospital. And until 2003, you could be arrested for having gay sex in twelve or so states, which is why I didn't go to college in VA.)
- Since when are we in the business of taking rights away from people? Don't forget, this is the country that gave us slavery, welfare-to-work, NINA and Jim Crow laws, immigration quotas, salary caps for women, criminalization of religious and sexual minorities, the Trail of Tears, unequal representation for Puerto Rico, segregation...

Don't get me wrong, I'm pissed off about it too. But I'm bitterly cynical as well, having seen this roller coaster going on and on and on for the past five or six years. And though it's intensely frustrating, we have made big strides: like I said, the Supreme Court decision in '03. You know what, I'm going to Wiki the states, hang on...

Alabama, Florida, Idaho, Kansas, Louisiana, Michigan, Mississippi, Missouri, North Carolina, Oklahoma, South Carolina, Texas, Virginia

Before 2003, it was illegal in those states to have CONSENSUAL ADULT sex with someone of the same gender IN PRIVATE. And it was a felony in some of them, so you could do jail time if someone broke into your bedroom with a policeman. (Which is what happened in Texas, which is why the Court overturned all of them at once.) There's some really fucked up stuff like that in our past, but it's slowly, painfully improving. The important thing, I think, is not to let the outrage and anger consume you (though I certainly encourage feeling it, like you said: it's good to be angry for change). Yes, Proposition 8 has passed (for now, that is; we'll see what happens next year)...

...but in the meantime, we have a Democratic President, House, and Senate for the first time in many moons. Live for hope!

P.S. Something I think is way more fucked up than even Prop 8: Arkansas apparently just passed a measure banning adoption by unmarried people/couples. Obviously they were targeting the LGBT community, but... well, think about it for a second. ANY unmarried people. Even the straight ones.

Let's have a look at the homeless child population in Arkansas over the next few years, hm? You can't use a blanket to put out a candle.

[spiralsheep.livejournal.com]

Great post. I admire your passion.

[heyiya.livejournal.com]

Yes, what zepooka said. The differentiation we have the the UK between 'civil partner' and 'spouse' is actually a big part of what gay marriage campaigners are fighting against: so that the rights attaching to same-sex and opposite-sex marriages can't be separated. In the US where politics are less centralized that has more potential knock-on effects in the UK.

As always, my anti-assimilationist side and my outrage at bigotry to some degree conflict on how I feel about this. I don't want marriage to be tied to any rights, I don't want to be a second-class citizen if I live my life uncoupled in an unconventional family of friends, but obviously I want people to have their relationships recognized if that's what they want.

Also, sadly I don't believe in the liberal progress march towards happy perfect rights for all. I think it's a useful tool sometimes, but look at immigration, look at the welfare state--the idea of what people have a 'right' to changes all the time, and it often goes 'backwards.' Excuse the cynicism, I'm pleased about Obama and all, but!

[gatezilla.livejournal.com]

Hi. I got here somehow by hopping from post to post about the elections and I really enjoyed reading what you had to say, so I friended you. I hope that's okay. I also really like your Sisko icon. :)

[nomoreanonymous.livejournal.com]

Sisko does rule even if he does like baseball.

I think it sad how behind the times the USA are with the issua of gay marriage compared to most other advanced countries.

On the other hand it seems to pale in comparison to that poor 13 year old girl being stoned to death for being a rape victim in Somalia.

America is really behind the times but thankfully not that far behind.

[madenglishbloke.livejournal.com]

i think there were 2 main reasons why civil partnerships didnt signal the end of the universe from the great british public - firstly, the number of "celebs" who immediatly signed up for them meant that the "OK" and "hello" reading masses meant they were too busy cooing over elton or the short bald one from little britain to complain about "ZOMG the gays are out to out-marry us!!!ELEVENTY-ONE!!!"
but also, civil partnerships were introduced for ANY 2 people living together to acquire legal rights equivalent to marriage - examples given included siblings living together, who would have a lower tax burden due to being able to move part of their taxable income so that if one was taxed at the upper rate and the other at the lower, they could both end up at the lower rate - this is something that previously was unavailable to anyone other than married couples.

[nomoreanonymous.livejournal.com]

dont forget Remembrance Day ooops i mean Pepero Day tomorrow!