BSG: Torn

[beccatoria]

A day late because yesterday I was at an awesome wedding!

I loved a lot about this episode and am having deep thinky-thoughts about the whole awesome basestar subplot. I can't articulate them yet which is good because I have a whole post's worth of rant about Starbuck and Adama's way of dealing with her and why it was painfully painful to watch.


Adama actually did something dynamic and interesting this episode and I'm grateful for that, because it's been a while since he did something in a slightly unexpected way.

That said, I can't stand his method. It was painful to watch and I wanted to...hit him, I think. What he did to Kara was horrible to watch.

Now there are a couple of things that need to be said. Kara's totally off the rails, she's behaving in a totally unacceptable and dangerous way. She's terrifying and insane and needs a very heavy handed intervention to make her realise just how despicable she's become lately. If you don't believe I think this, check my past episode reactions. She's being ugly right now.

But, Adama, you don't get to deal with her like this without earning my contempt.

He neded to do something to maintain order and he needed to give Kara a wakeup call. But remember I've had this huge thing over the last few weeks that Kara needs a parent? That she needs someone who will love her and be tough with her while she's throwing her violent temper tantrum because she's six?

Well look, she just got exactly what I wanted for her in the most SCREWED UP WAY IMAGINABLE!

Adama responds to her with verbal and physical abuse. Who was the last person to control her by hitting her, making her believe she's a "cancer" and then making her feel completely unworthy of being loved? Oh yes, her mother.

(Aside: Does Adama even know about her mother? Possibly not. Maybe he doesn't quite understand what he's doing. Doesn't change the effect though.)

Let's talk about Anders for a second. I already said I had some issues with some of his choices (Kill Ellen! Don't kill Gaeta! Watch as I leave without using my vote to save him!) but I basically find the character interesting and found his response to Kara's demands that he leave refreshing. To see him not fight, to let her know just how unappealing she was by returning the dog tags without stooping to pettiness. Yeah that was interesting. And I figured, as her husband, he could step up and act as her parent-figure? Counsellor? Whichever, but it wasn't his responsibility. He does get to walk away and wait until she sorts it out.

You know what, Adama doesn't. Because he's her dad. And you know, arguements that no, he's her military commander, or, he's not really her dad, don't fly. Because he encouraged her to think of him as a parent. He told her that he thought of her as a daughter, but I never heard her tell him she thought of him as a father (though she clearly did). So yeah he encouraged this if he didn't outright instigate it. He shouldn't make those statements if he doesn't mean them.

Maybe we're seeing what happens when you try to have relationships like this within a military command structure (interesting implications for the obviously relaxed frat regs). I'm willing to accept that. But it doesn't get around the fact that Adama actively encouraged Starbuck to think of him as a parent. And she did.

And now Adama who she has always respected has treated her exactly the way her mom used to. That's going to reinforce everything Leoben said - that she wants to believe it's her fault, that she's the problem, that she's worthless.

"You were like a daughter to me. No more." What, because she's screwed up because she probably has post-traumatic stress disorder? Yeah, dude, you DO need to parent her, and you DO need to tell her how horrifically ugly she's become. But what you don't need to do is disown her because you've got a new surrogate daughter in Athena. You don't get to make threats like that because you're mad. You don't get to pretend to be someone's dad only when it's easy.

I think the problem is, Adama's a great commander, but a terrible father. Because he can be vicious towards his children. (Note: though striking a subordinate officer isn't great conduct either).

The thing is, as we can see by Kara's later actions, what he does helps her get her shit together.

Here's why:

What he did was start up the pattern again. He took on the role of Kara's mother, meaning Kara could slip back into her old personality. The one where she sublimates any pain and keeps everyone far, far away and never looses control unless she chooses to (which she does, see Tigh in the mini series, to keep up her swaggering image). That's why Flesh & Bone was so fascinating, that iron-tight control was at the forefront.

Adama really did make Starbuck feel terrible and make her want to do better, by tapping into all the "I'm unworthy of being loved, but I'll try anyway because everyone needs a parent," crap that her mom left her with.

She'll do okay for a while, I'm thinking. Because Adama bitchslapped her back to her familiar comfort zone, but all she's done is shove everything back inside.

Here's where things get totally frakked. What New Caprica did to Starbuck was a) leave her so confused and raw that it destroyed her sense of the familiar and her coping mechanisms and all the feelings were just...there and she didn't know how to cope with them. So she acted out like a kid. But b) for the first time, here's something crap that happened to her that wasn't her fault. That clearly couldn't be attributed to her and that Tigh and the Circle were only too happy to provide scapegoats for. It's juvenile and it's immature in terms of her response (because she's emotionally immature), but realising that crappy things happened to her for reasons that weren't her fault is an incredibly important thing for Kara to eventually grok. I worry that that's just been completely undermined as the person she had the most love for and faith in just confirmed all of her worst fears in a moment of anger and vindictiveness.

In a frakked up way, she was growing emotionally when she was treating everyone else like crap. Or at least, she had the potential to because she hadn't locked everything up again yet. She was struggling to understand, "None of this was my fault," with the unfortunate side-effect of treating everyone else like it was theirs. Now she's back to, "I'm a screw-up and it's my fault," and that's something she knows how to deal with very well.

I wonder about her reunion with Kacey at the end. I loved it because I thought that the kid had been Deus Ex Machina'd away. But it did make me realise that Starbuck has successfully alienated everyone she once considered family (with the possible exception of Helo, but he wasn't interacting with her here either so I can't tell). Everyone. There literally is no one who'd come hug her if she was a ball of goo on the floor. (Yup, did that to herself, but not the point of this paragraph). Kacey's the new Anders. She's the only one who's going to look at Kara and smile and see her as someone good and jump at her with a hug.

What Kara needs most is a parent who offers actual unconditional love. What she's got is a two year old friend, who seems to be doing that in her dad's absence.

Sorry this is long. I know that I'm probably reading too much into it. I can't help it. It's what grabbed me. That scene, the voice in my head was, "God, don't hit her, just don't hit - ...right."

None of this is intended to excuse the fact that Kara almost murdered a man and didn't care if he was innocent or guilty. None of this excuses the fact that she's turning into a monster. None of this is supposed to be an arguement for childhood abuse absolving you of all further crimes. But it might be why you commit some of them. It's the arguement from that film, The Cell, that I found really interesting. Does childhood abuse excuse you from attrocities? No. But it might be why and it can't be ignored if you want to make someone whole again.

And in the context of Kara as a character - if we look at her and what she needs to be whole again - her childhood abuse is clearly the root of part of her behaviour. Leoben deliberately drew on it, as he has since he first met her.

It's not an excuse. It's a reason. And it's the reason that having her father who's opinion she trusts, behave like her mother who abused her, can never, ever yield permanently positive results. It just can't. I'll weep if it does. It's so fucked.

I know there's a lot of people who dislike the childhood abuse line for Kara. It is so often a telegraphed excuse on TV. Oh, they were abused! Don't hate them! But here...they're showing her so ugly and damaged because of it. I respect that. This shit does damage people. Some people, it makes into bad people.

Adama, start acting like a real dad or apologise for telling her you thought of her as a daughter.


That's all, folks!

Comments

[coffeejunkii.livejournal.com]

Who was the last person to control her by hitting her, making her believe she's a "cancer" and then making her feel completely unworthy of being loved? Oh yes, her mother.

oh, huh, i hadn't thought of that, but it totally makes sense. as does what you said about how starbuck knows how to react to that and that's why she pulls herself together. that was the missing link for me that i couldn't think of so far. how very screwed up, and yet excellent in terms of character development. let's hope ron moore knows that as well!

[marenfic.livejournal.com]

I've really enjoyed your thoughts on Kara as an emotional six-year-old. She's incredibly emotionally immature and combine that with her experiences and the fact that she is a grown woman who has been trained to be a deadly weapon and. .. yeah, not a good combo. Kara is behaving in an ugly way, that while completely and totally understandable, is still unexcusably ugly.

I have a huge amount of empathy for Kara. She is my POV character. I want to get her in session, give her a hug and tell her I love her but also that she's behaving like a complete shit and she needs to work on getting her act together. And see, that's what Adama should be doing but instead he's perpetuating the cycle.

But, I think the problem is that Adama doesn't really think of her as a daughter-- okay, maybe the ugly step-child daughter who he sometimes loves when she's being really good and doing all her chores. Yet he continued, as you said, to encourage her to think of him as a father. So doing what he did was flat out cruel. It was wrong.

I'm really afraid that this will be treated in a very paternalistic, unquestioning, of course Adama did exactly the right thing kind of way. She needed a kick in the ass, he gave it to her, end of story. Except that no, not the end of the story by any stretch.

[raincitygirl.livejournal.com]

What you said. I *winced* when he called her a cancer.

[asta77.livejournal.com]

We touched on some of this on my LJ, but I'm glad you expanded on your ideas here. Your take on the Kara/Adama relationship is very interesting and it never dawned on me that he was, to a lesser extent, exhibiting behavior her mother did towards her. The one difference I could see is that I don't think Adama means to be cruel for the sake of cruelty and I'm not sure he's really aware of what he is doing. That's not me excusing his behavior, but there was no sadistic pleasure taken in his actions or words which I think may have been the case with her mother. I've also always wondered if Adama knows of the abuse that Kara endured by her mother. It's possible he would take a different approach if he knew the full story.

She was struggling to understand, "None of this was my fault," with the unfortunate side-effect of treating everyone else like it was theirs. Now she's back to, "I'm a screw-up and it's my fault," and that's something she knows how to deal with very well.


Excellent observation. And though it's bad for Kara and her personal growth, the show handled that subtle shift quite well.

[danceswithwords.livejournal.com]

Here via asta77's recommendation. I really appreciate the way you connect Adama's current behavior to abusive patterns Kara probably recognizes from childhood. I myself hadn't gotten beyond feeling like "get over it, that's an order" is terribly inadequate for what she's been through. I think you're completely right that in the short term it gives her a recognizable and concrete dynamic to hold on to and respond to in familiar and comforting ways, but that it does absolutely nothing to actually address her pain. I think that's why I was so disappointed in Adama in this episode. He obviously had to address the surface behavior with both Tigh and Kara, because it was a problem, but not addressing the causes doesn't really solve anything in the long term, and among other things (failing them as friend and father figure), it's bad leadership.

[sdwolfpup.livejournal.com]

Thank you for articulating so much of what bothered me about that scene. DWW said it well too, that Adama's handling of their tragedies was totally inadequate, and yes he's their superior office and they were being harmful, but even as a superior officer he handled it badly. It's terrible leadership, and I don't believe the show wants us to think that, which just annoys me further.

[bionic.livejournal.com]

So I friended you because I'm a new BSG fan and I want to be one with the BSG community. But I can't read any of your posts yet because I'm still in the process of watching season 2. But yes, LOVE BSG!

[fionn-a-bhair.livejournal.com]

(Here from galacticanews)

I hadn't been able to make up my mind on this scene for ages, though my analysis is basically the same as yours. My feeling is that it all depends on what they do next.

If Adama's smackdown of Starbuck is made to seem as 'exactly what she needed' and 'the thing that got her back on her feet' and the cure for her ills, I. Will. Throw. Things. If in a few episodes their relationship is back to being all loving and kind and Adama never has to pay a price for the things he said to her, I'll scream.

However, if they can work it so that Kara manages to put herself back together (and that is an act of will on her part, not his) temporarily at least, and then...those issues come back and bite everyone, but especially Adama, in the ass...then I can live with it.

As long as there are consequences, I can live with it, you know? Nothing he said seemed that out of character for Adama - but he better not get to be Kara's loving father after this - not without making some kind of reparation first.

There needs to be a payoff to that scene that isn't "proof that Adama is awesome."

[ladycoreopsis.livejournal.com]

Hi there! You present some interesting perspectives on Kara I had never really thought about before. I think I come from the other side of the fence on this issue, however. Now, to begin with, I realize you don't respect Kara's recent behavior. But even if Kara is emotionally immature, she is expected to behave and function in society like an adult. There is a point in your life where you need to grow up and act like an adult, and I think Adama, albeit severely, was trying to bring this point home to her. That despite all the pain and suffering she's been through, everyone else has suffered losses and pain. But that's part of what makes us human, and as adults we need to find ways to cope or lean on the support of our friends and family to help us cope. Kara wasn't doing either.

I personally don't think that Adama was being deceptive to her about his fatherly relationship with her. What she was doing to his crew HURT him. He felt so betrayed by her actions that he, himself, went into an adult-style temper tantrum. The woman she had become from her experiences on NC no longer acted like the woman he had considered his daughter. She was destroying the morale of his crew and turning friends against each other. Not to mention that she basically admits to getting one of his sons killed and then hid the truth from him while he wholeheartedly loved her and accepted her into his heart as family. How much hurt can a man take and just swallow?

The way Adama has dealt with Starbuck in the past implies to me that he made room in his heart for her, but does she make room in her heart for him? It seems one-sided, you know? She only seems to hide things from him, and sometimes we need to cut ourselves loose from one-sided relationships that give us nothing in return. I think it's wrong to assume he'd love her unconditionally even if he says she was LIKE a daughter to him. When it comes down to it, unconditional love is emotionally taxing. He continued to put his heart out on the line for Kara and get burned for it. Ouch.

That all said, I don't respect that he hit her. The scene actually made my heart jump into my stomach--very similar to the feeling I get when my own daughter stumbles and smacks her head on something. I felt shocked, afraid, and upset (now there's some powerful acting for you!!). His reaction was an adult temper-tantrum and he should control his outrage better. But the whole disowning her thing--I just saw that as part of this tantrum and that he didn't really intend at the outset that it would become so ugly. People can say very ugly things in the heat of the moment when they are angry and hurt. I wouldn't be surprised if we see an episode in the near future where Adama apologizes for being so brutal. I don't think things will be all ok for them right away, though. I think she'll also be hurt and angry at him for saying such awful things to her(and should be!). I think there will be a long time of resentment between them even IF they both make amends. Look at all the time it took Lee and Adama to get chummy aagain, and their relationship still has conflicts.

But yeah, if it's all love and warm fuzzy bunnies between them in two episodes I'll barf. =)

[kita0610.livejournal.com]

Hmm. I think I disagree.

Her husband was the one who needed to step up, because he's her HUSBAND. They took vows. Adama, other subtextual relationships aside, is her boss. And his loyalty is to the fleet, above anyone he may "favor". He got through to her the only way he could, and it was very ugly and harsh, but- he needed his warrior back. And he got it.

Anders actions, OTOH, I see as unforgivable. He could have given her space AND said "I'm not that easy to get rid of, I'll be here when you're ready." Instead, he was cruel. Giving the tags back? *shudder*

Also, FWIW? You were the total opposite of rude in Jenny O's Lj.

[beerbad.livejournal.com]

Here via projectjulie...

Thank you for such an insightful and well-written analysis! I'm jealous I didn't think of this myself. ;) I very much enjoyed reading it and all the comments as well, and I think you made some really good connections and observations.

And for that, I'm friending you because I could use more BSG meta of this caliber on my flist. Cheers! :)

[almightychrissy.livejournal.com]

linked here by caitiedidit and just wanted to say that this is incredible, incredible, wonderful. You have a really insightful view of these characters and captured a lot about how painful that last scene was.

Adama's a great commander, but a terrible father. Because he can be vicious towards his children.

YES. The first and primary thing that drew me to the show was the relationship between Adama and Lee, and the whole family dynamic with the two of them and Kara is probably my favorite thing on that show. The crazy thing with Adama is that there are moments where he can show, in his own twisted way, how much he deeply deeply loves them (the episode that I forget the title of, where Kara gets stuck on the planet and fucks up her knee and Lee is all angsty, that episode is full of Good Daddy Adama) and there are times where he is cold, hurtful, and yes, cruel. "If it were you down there, we'd never leave" never fails to choke me up, but the key to that moment is that Lee really did have to ask the question.

Sorry, I'm rambling. I just wanted to say how much I loved your post.

[laet-v.livejournal.com]

Interesting comment about this scene between them both.

I don't agree with you. There, I didn't see the Adama "father" reacting about a situation, it wasn't on the level of love that he acted, for me.
I saw the Admiral Adama, the warrior, in a situation of command, dealing with an insubordination and rebelliousness officer (in fact two). He couldn't tolerate all these comments and attitudes on his ship and among his crew, this can be too dangerous.

I know civilian people don't understand all the (unsaid) rules in the Army and I know military people don't think and don't see the thing like civilian people.

I'm a woman, captain in the french Army, and I wasn't shocked that Adama kick her chair. I only see a CO asserting himself in a position command, physically and psychologically. He had to.

Now, I don't think kindness is a good way to deal with some "kid".

Sorry for my english, Is easier to read...