beccatoria (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
beccatoria) wrote2009-01-20 12:24 am
beccatoria) wrote2009-01-20 12:24 am
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BSG: I refuse to yield my crack!theory to canon, dammit!
I feel weird posting this much. I blame my state of permanently wired hyperactivity which appears to be a bizarre mental response to life being stupidly and pointlessly stressful right now.
The point is. Kara. I really, really wanted the final cylon to be one of her parents. (Well actually I wanted it to be Laura more for personal reasons, but one of her parents more for the plot).
I have decided that it's too cool a theory and makes too much sense to just GIVE UP ON, and therefore I have a ridiculous and potentially hilarious theory to present to y'all.
Given that this crack!theory requires one of Kara's parents to be a cylon, let's look at the possible candidates. We can rule out the significant seven right away because even if the humanoid models were developed very quickly after the armistice, we're lead to believe that actual cylon agents were only introduced to the Colonies a few years before the mini series.
So barring any kind of time travel, it's not one of them.
Of the final five, we can rule out Anders, Tory and Tyrol due to age. Even if somehow Tigh aged when they didn't and they had their memories wiped again so that they didn't understand that they'd lived for like, forty years without aging, we can still rule out Tory via ethnicity and Anders because dude, that would be too gross even for this show. Plus Tyrol's just not hilarious enough.
Which leaves us with THE TIGHS.
It would be easiest to retcon it as Tigh being Kara's father, because we know nothing about him, and true, Tigh never played piano, but who knows if that was her real dad anyhow. But he already has a mutant cylon baby. Two is just greedy.
Therefore, in my ongoing quest to make Ellen Tigh's final cylonicity cool, I have decided that she is secretly Kara's mother, and like, gave the kid up for adoption/palmed her off onto Socrata Thrace/palmed her off onto her father who then married Socrata Thrace, whever.
The point is, I KNOW the show will never do it, and it would be a random and pointless retcon of Socrata's relationship to Kara, which will probably be revisited given all her "special" mumbo jumbo that suggested maybe she knew what the hell was going on anyway.
BUT DUDE. IS THIS NOT THE MOST ENTERTAININGLY STUPID IDEA THAT INCLUDES POINTLESS STAR-WARS-ESQUE FAMILIAL REVEALS THAT YOU'VE READ ALL DAY? and if it isn't, please, point me to the one that is; I could use a laugh right now.
Now. I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE ALL ASKING. Why didn't Ellen, like, say something about this at some point? Because Ellen is not with the subtle and totally with the insensitive and totally with the hanging on to any famous person who might get her a little more status.
Well, two reasons, 1) she's Ellen. She's as likely to not realise the obvious as she is to try and exploit it, and 2) my preferred crack!reading of the situation is that her original plan was to give the kid up for adoption cus she was pretty young, and, well, Ellen, but much like Chief with his Temple of Five wanderings, once Kara was born she had like, a complete character break for 24 hours where she went and palmed her off to Socrata while religiously psyching the crap out of her in a manner that Roslin would be impressed by (possibly, since I am mildly obsessed with this possibility, Socrata was even a potential Oracle at one point, ground down by her really shitty life), before totally forgetting what the hell it was she was doing and wandering back out to continue her drunken, flighty existence.
And now that I've spent far too much time on this, I will go back to my stupid SRS ADAMA VID which is taking about five times longer than ANY OTHER VID EVER because he's such a douchebag.
Help me.
Really.
I'm actually getting worried about myself.
The point is. Kara. I really, really wanted the final cylon to be one of her parents. (Well actually I wanted it to be Laura more for personal reasons, but one of her parents more for the plot).
I have decided that it's too cool a theory and makes too much sense to just GIVE UP ON, and therefore I have a ridiculous and potentially hilarious theory to present to y'all.
Given that this crack!theory requires one of Kara's parents to be a cylon, let's look at the possible candidates. We can rule out the significant seven right away because even if the humanoid models were developed very quickly after the armistice, we're lead to believe that actual cylon agents were only introduced to the Colonies a few years before the mini series.
So barring any kind of time travel, it's not one of them.
Of the final five, we can rule out Anders, Tory and Tyrol due to age. Even if somehow Tigh aged when they didn't and they had their memories wiped again so that they didn't understand that they'd lived for like, forty years without aging, we can still rule out Tory via ethnicity and Anders because dude, that would be too gross even for this show. Plus Tyrol's just not hilarious enough.
Which leaves us with THE TIGHS.
It would be easiest to retcon it as Tigh being Kara's father, because we know nothing about him, and true, Tigh never played piano, but who knows if that was her real dad anyhow. But he already has a mutant cylon baby. Two is just greedy.
Therefore, in my ongoing quest to make Ellen Tigh's final cylonicity cool, I have decided that she is secretly Kara's mother, and like, gave the kid up for adoption/palmed her off onto Socrata Thrace/palmed her off onto her father who then married Socrata Thrace, whever.
The point is, I KNOW the show will never do it, and it would be a random and pointless retcon of Socrata's relationship to Kara, which will probably be revisited given all her "special" mumbo jumbo that suggested maybe she knew what the hell was going on anyway.
BUT DUDE. IS THIS NOT THE MOST ENTERTAININGLY STUPID IDEA THAT INCLUDES POINTLESS STAR-WARS-ESQUE FAMILIAL REVEALS THAT YOU'VE READ ALL DAY? and if it isn't, please, point me to the one that is; I could use a laugh right now.
Now. I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE ALL ASKING. Why didn't Ellen, like, say something about this at some point? Because Ellen is not with the subtle and totally with the insensitive and totally with the hanging on to any famous person who might get her a little more status.
Well, two reasons, 1) she's Ellen. She's as likely to not realise the obvious as she is to try and exploit it, and 2) my preferred crack!reading of the situation is that her original plan was to give the kid up for adoption cus she was pretty young, and, well, Ellen, but much like Chief with his Temple of Five wanderings, once Kara was born she had like, a complete character break for 24 hours where she went and palmed her off to Socrata while religiously psyching the crap out of her in a manner that Roslin would be impressed by (possibly, since I am mildly obsessed with this possibility, Socrata was even a potential Oracle at one point, ground down by her really shitty life), before totally forgetting what the hell it was she was doing and wandering back out to continue her drunken, flighty existence.
And now that I've spent far too much time on this, I will go back to my stupid SRS ADAMA VID which is taking about five times longer than ANY OTHER VID EVER because he's such a douchebag.
Help me.
Really.
I'm actually getting worried about myself.
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and Anders because dude, that would be too gross even for this show.
Are we sure about that? Though Kara falling in love with Zak then falling in love with his brother then falling in love with her own brother might be just a wee bit too melodramatic.
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Are we sure about that? Though Kara falling in love with Zak then falling in love with his brother then falling in love with her own brother might be just a wee bit too melodramatic.
No, no, then falling in love with her own father not her own brother. Because accidentally marrying her own brother is something I can see BSG doing. It would really surprise me and I don't think they would but, maybe, in some weird world I could see it. But her own dad? Eww. No. Can't see them going there. In my...insane crack theory that's never actually going to be anything like true, where realism on other counts clearly matters so much. HMM. *headdesk*
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I hope Ellen didn't know she was a Cylon when she was alive. It irks me if she knew.
Also, I kinda don't like Adama. At all. He's a douchebag.
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I really, really hope Ellen didn't know. I'm kind of meh about her reveal currently but willing to imagine ways in which they can make it cool. But if she always knew what she was, well, that's striking me as the opposite of cool.
Finally, Adama is indeed a douchebag, and the more people who realise this, the better.
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Before I knew it was Ellen I didn't want the final to be a sleeper agent. Now I don't want her to know what she was. If it's played right, maybe I could buy that she was playing everyone.
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Oh and if you're looking for laughs. I did just post a new battlestarbook for Act of Contrition/You Can't Go Home again. (This one might be the funniest...she says modestly.) ;)
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Also yes I did see the Kate Vernon interview. It was comforting in some ways because she hinted that she didn't know who she was when she was alive, but disappointing in others since it kind of confirmed that she wouldn't stay dead. BOO! But hey, at least I like the actress.
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:)
Oh show, you inspire so many questions.
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