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beccatoriaOkay, so for a while I've been meaning to write up my thoughts on the Emma/Regina ship and why I can't get on board with it and since I just watched the most recent episode and it dealt with a past romance on Emma's part, I figured I might as well just get it all out there at once. So first I will express my concerns about Emma's relationship with SPOILER and then I will talk about my tragic inability to believe it could ever work out with Regina either.
Okay, so, there are three reasons why I fear this development.
1) Setting up Emma with Henry's dad is gonna be really hard to do without making it look like they're trying to retroactively make an honest woman out of her, or tie together babies with true love. I get this show is all about love - and, yes, true love - but as the season one finale showed, that doesn't have to be a narrow definition. Come on, show, DON'T MAKE IT NARROW.
2) Oh god, don't make him Baelfire. I really, really, really think they're gonna make him Baelfire. And I don't really care how easy it is to fake up some plot reason why fairytale land folks end up drawn to each other, or even that since Rumpelstiltskin cast the curse to get to the same land as his son, and obviously there was some kind of magical compulsion/destiny that was going to bring Emma back to Storybrooke, he unwittingly tied his son into that tale too - it still feels ridiculously convenient. Plus I just...really? Must we? Must we?
3) Emma's life is so defined by the fact she has been endlessly and repeatedly let down by people she loves and trusts. I worry that Neal's behaviour will be cast as Emma misconstruing his actions as letting her down because it's easy to pin all the blame on August (and don't get me wrong WTF AUGUST, but I at least feel I'm supposed to be pissed at him). Thing is, what Neal actually did, though, was let her down. He may have had noble or ignoble intentions; maybe Emma would even have cared if she knew them, but ultimately he chose to let her down, to leave her, to do something she couldn't predict, so that he wasn't there when she was counting on him, and he did that deliberately. He told Emma she could rely on him, and then he chose to be unreliable. The pain was real, the decision was real, and he had other options. Do not forget this, television show.
And now we move on to the ship I WISH I shipped. Because I'm really quite taken with it as an idea. It's fantastic that it's gained so much public traction, and I can completely see why because the entire show is basically the Gay Parent Trap and that's hilarious. But it also works narratively because there's all sorts of interesting ideas about the curse being broken by giving the Evil Queen a happy ending, about Snow being responsible for taking away Regina's love and returning it to her - if they could pull it off, it'd be a neat narrative twist and a satisfying one.
But can they? I...don't know, but at the moment I don't buy it. There's too much pain there. As a character, I think Regina's fantastic and I'm really happy and relieved that the second season is giving her a more nuanced backstory (although I also hope it steers clear of making her solely the victim; I want to understand why she's so toxic, not absolve her of toxicity).
Regina's a villain. A beautiful, complicated, tragic villain who has caused so much pain and heartache I honestly find it difficult if not impossible to imagine Emma forgiving that. If Emma were more like Snow, then maybe, sure. But Emma's Emma and Emma's a hurt, damaged person, too.
Before she discovered who she really was, and before she realised that Regina was framing Snow, then, yes, I think I could have bought blazing sexual tension ratcheting into a more substantive relationship; Emma's main concerns about Regina's treatment of Henry are so tied up at that point with her own emotions about him and her choices that it could have been a healing process for all of them.
But as soon as she realised that Regina was no-holds-barred out to destroy Snow, I think that bridge got burned and good. Because that's when Emma started realising Regina was functioning on a level that was almost sociopathic in many regards. Emma has had very, very few people she's trusted over the years. Snow is, by her own admission, the closest thing she has to family and a best friend - and I believe that means more to her than she will ever admit, even before she learns the truth about their relationship. Even with the complicated abandonment issues she clearly wants to work through with Snow, it also only increases her near pathological fear of losing the only person she's ever had who hasn't profoundly and totally let her down. I think hurting Snow is a one-way ticket to Emma hating you. And unlike Snow, she's not looking for a way to forgive; she's not secure enough.
In addition, Emma is enormously wounded by her upbringing and hugely resentful of it. It now turns out that, in a very real way, Regina is the one responsible. Everything Emma went through growing up - including the fact she now has to be "the Saviour" - something she makes very clear to August she considers a completely unfair and terrifying prospect - that she got all of that instead of being brought up by people who loved her, is directly Regina's fault.
Do I think that she'd wish Henry away and a life as a Princess into being? Not for a second, but do I think that being shown snatches of the life full of love that she could have had, always through the lens of how she lost that chance, is exquisitely painful to her? Yeah. And to a degree I don't know I think she'll ever be able to truly "get over". I actually wonder how much she's consciously allowed herself to think about it at all. I think the day she really puts any thought to that equation is going to be...interesting.
I can see Emma coming to respect Regina. I can see Henry having a positive, loving relationship with both his mothers. I can see Henry forming a bridge between Regina and the House of White once more and I want that.
But I don't know that, at the deepest levels of her being, Emma will ever be able to truly forgive and accept what Regina did to her, or the callous, selfish cruelty with which she tried to frame her best friend/mother for murder.
And honestly, I'm not sure she should either. In fact, I hope Emma confronts her about it. I do love their relationship, in all its conflict-driven, difficult glory. I want then to scream at each other, and then uneasily work together, and come to reluctant truces and tentative mutual respect, but I'm not sure I ever want to lose that razor edge of raw pain underneath.
Regina has done terrible, brutal, violent things. And I think I want to see her fall in love with someone, once again.
But not with Emma.
And there you have it. My antiship manifesto.
Okay, so, there are three reasons why I fear this development.
1) Setting up Emma with Henry's dad is gonna be really hard to do without making it look like they're trying to retroactively make an honest woman out of her, or tie together babies with true love. I get this show is all about love - and, yes, true love - but as the season one finale showed, that doesn't have to be a narrow definition. Come on, show, DON'T MAKE IT NARROW.
2) Oh god, don't make him Baelfire. I really, really, really think they're gonna make him Baelfire. And I don't really care how easy it is to fake up some plot reason why fairytale land folks end up drawn to each other, or even that since Rumpelstiltskin cast the curse to get to the same land as his son, and obviously there was some kind of magical compulsion/destiny that was going to bring Emma back to Storybrooke, he unwittingly tied his son into that tale too - it still feels ridiculously convenient. Plus I just...really? Must we? Must we?
3) Emma's life is so defined by the fact she has been endlessly and repeatedly let down by people she loves and trusts. I worry that Neal's behaviour will be cast as Emma misconstruing his actions as letting her down because it's easy to pin all the blame on August (and don't get me wrong WTF AUGUST, but I at least feel I'm supposed to be pissed at him). Thing is, what Neal actually did, though, was let her down. He may have had noble or ignoble intentions; maybe Emma would even have cared if she knew them, but ultimately he chose to let her down, to leave her, to do something she couldn't predict, so that he wasn't there when she was counting on him, and he did that deliberately. He told Emma she could rely on him, and then he chose to be unreliable. The pain was real, the decision was real, and he had other options. Do not forget this, television show.
And now we move on to the ship I WISH I shipped. Because I'm really quite taken with it as an idea. It's fantastic that it's gained so much public traction, and I can completely see why because the entire show is basically the Gay Parent Trap and that's hilarious. But it also works narratively because there's all sorts of interesting ideas about the curse being broken by giving the Evil Queen a happy ending, about Snow being responsible for taking away Regina's love and returning it to her - if they could pull it off, it'd be a neat narrative twist and a satisfying one.
But can they? I...don't know, but at the moment I don't buy it. There's too much pain there. As a character, I think Regina's fantastic and I'm really happy and relieved that the second season is giving her a more nuanced backstory (although I also hope it steers clear of making her solely the victim; I want to understand why she's so toxic, not absolve her of toxicity).
Regina's a villain. A beautiful, complicated, tragic villain who has caused so much pain and heartache I honestly find it difficult if not impossible to imagine Emma forgiving that. If Emma were more like Snow, then maybe, sure. But Emma's Emma and Emma's a hurt, damaged person, too.
Before she discovered who she really was, and before she realised that Regina was framing Snow, then, yes, I think I could have bought blazing sexual tension ratcheting into a more substantive relationship; Emma's main concerns about Regina's treatment of Henry are so tied up at that point with her own emotions about him and her choices that it could have been a healing process for all of them.
But as soon as she realised that Regina was no-holds-barred out to destroy Snow, I think that bridge got burned and good. Because that's when Emma started realising Regina was functioning on a level that was almost sociopathic in many regards. Emma has had very, very few people she's trusted over the years. Snow is, by her own admission, the closest thing she has to family and a best friend - and I believe that means more to her than she will ever admit, even before she learns the truth about their relationship. Even with the complicated abandonment issues she clearly wants to work through with Snow, it also only increases her near pathological fear of losing the only person she's ever had who hasn't profoundly and totally let her down. I think hurting Snow is a one-way ticket to Emma hating you. And unlike Snow, she's not looking for a way to forgive; she's not secure enough.
In addition, Emma is enormously wounded by her upbringing and hugely resentful of it. It now turns out that, in a very real way, Regina is the one responsible. Everything Emma went through growing up - including the fact she now has to be "the Saviour" - something she makes very clear to August she considers a completely unfair and terrifying prospect - that she got all of that instead of being brought up by people who loved her, is directly Regina's fault.
Do I think that she'd wish Henry away and a life as a Princess into being? Not for a second, but do I think that being shown snatches of the life full of love that she could have had, always through the lens of how she lost that chance, is exquisitely painful to her? Yeah. And to a degree I don't know I think she'll ever be able to truly "get over". I actually wonder how much she's consciously allowed herself to think about it at all. I think the day she really puts any thought to that equation is going to be...interesting.
I can see Emma coming to respect Regina. I can see Henry having a positive, loving relationship with both his mothers. I can see Henry forming a bridge between Regina and the House of White once more and I want that.
But I don't know that, at the deepest levels of her being, Emma will ever be able to truly forgive and accept what Regina did to her, or the callous, selfish cruelty with which she tried to frame her best friend/mother for murder.
And honestly, I'm not sure she should either. In fact, I hope Emma confronts her about it. I do love their relationship, in all its conflict-driven, difficult glory. I want then to scream at each other, and then uneasily work together, and come to reluctant truces and tentative mutual respect, but I'm not sure I ever want to lose that razor edge of raw pain underneath.
Regina has done terrible, brutal, violent things. And I think I want to see her fall in love with someone, once again.
But not with Emma.
And there you have it. My antiship manifesto.
