Happy Birthday TO MEEE!!
Aug. 10th, 2006 09:19 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
beccatoriaWell, it's been ages since I updated. And I'm cheating with the date because I don't know if I'll have time to update this tomorrow. So IT'S MY FAKE BIRTHDAY! GO ME! I'M OLD! :)
What's happened? Not a lot. I'm still trying to get back to my writing (working slowly) and feeling bored of work, and waiting for the next RPG game.
We were going to have a game tomorrow, cos I have it off work. But then Addy decided to cancel. I don't want to use my blog as a personal bitching place (well, okay, that's sort of what it IS, so let me rephrase, I don't want my blog to become the sort of place where I complain and whine about people I REALLY, REALLY like 95% of the time, and LIKE AN AWFUL LOT 4% of the time, and THINK IS, ON BALANCE, A PRETTY NIFTY GUY .5% of the time, and am only really CROSS with for another .5% of the time).
But the point is, I'm still a little pissed about that. Cos, we told him weeks ago, and I have, like, one guaranteed day off between now and November, and three days before he decides, actually, he is working. And not only that, we can reschedule the day around him (and he doesn't consider that this rescheduling leaves me with nothing to do but wait around for most of the day, on his convenience) and casually mentions it while in the bathroom so he can't hear my answer. (Possibly a good thing.)
Everything's okay again now, cos I do have a backup plan and tomorrow is going to be great fun, but...I'm sort of hurt that the way we resolved it was by...resolving nothing. By ignoring it and acting like it's all okay, when really, I'm hurt by it. He's always saying how he'd never work on a Sunday cos Sunday's roleplay day. How is my birthday, which is roleplay day and MY BIRTHDAY less important than that? And I can't bring it up with him, cos, Addy's great, and having met people with REAL SEVERE avoidance issues I wouldn't sully him with that label, but he does it a bit.
When he's uncomfortable, he clams right up and refuses to talk about it, even if you're saying, "Hey, dude, I'm hurt here, why are you doing this?" He sort of retreats into a corner where he's right all the time. He does it when you hit too close to the bone. I suppose this is not unusual. Usually I'm just better at being a little bitch and breaking my opponent out of that coccoon of safety and forcing them into a confrontation. Yay. Go me.
I dunno. It's just, I was really looking forward to it. I'd make plans and was depending on him, and he toppled the whole thing and then when he got told he hurt me, he clammed up and got defensive, like Kevie was the one making him feel bad. And I should just get over it - I mostly have, I'm back to enjoying chatting to him again and all that good stuff. I just...feh. Underneath that I'm sad and upset my birthday got wrecked and I feel guilty for not articulating that to him, and cross that if I did all I'd do is make things worse.
Woe is me. I'm emo.
Also, I got an ace card from the kids who live next door to my parents (I used to babysit for them). Supposedly it's Dark Side Jedi vs. Doctor Who, but I'm a little confused as to who the characters are (usually I'm pretty good at deciphering their 'more enthusiasm than talent' sketches). Cos, Cassandra's pretty obvious. The Doctor's obvious because he's saying, "I'm the Doctor," and the TARDIS is blue. I think I know which one is K9, and there's a Cat Nun, although she looks more like the Pope. But Rose is...yeah, I'm guessing she's the squashed up figure in black shufted behind the TARDIS as a sort of afterthought. Aah, boys.
Anyway, I'm doing pretty good on the DW side, it's the Star Wars side that's confusing me. Yoda's green, which is lucky. But the other two? One has a blue lightsaber and one has a green lightsaber and they're both in black. So where's the dark Jedi? Cos they all have red lightsabers! Dammit!
(Yes, I hear you all saying, you're being too literal. This is an eight year old's drawing, helped out by his six year old brother. Nope, no dice. This kid is a GEEK. Last year, I got Count Dooku vs. Anakin, and ALL LIGHTSABERS WERE PROPERLY COLOURED. I'm tellin' ya, I'm the one who's missing something, not him...)
Signing off,
Becka.
What's happened? Not a lot. I'm still trying to get back to my writing (working slowly) and feeling bored of work, and waiting for the next RPG game.
We were going to have a game tomorrow, cos I have it off work. But then Addy decided to cancel. I don't want to use my blog as a personal bitching place (well, okay, that's sort of what it IS, so let me rephrase, I don't want my blog to become the sort of place where I complain and whine about people I REALLY, REALLY like 95% of the time, and LIKE AN AWFUL LOT 4% of the time, and THINK IS, ON BALANCE, A PRETTY NIFTY GUY .5% of the time, and am only really CROSS with for another .5% of the time).
But the point is, I'm still a little pissed about that. Cos, we told him weeks ago, and I have, like, one guaranteed day off between now and November, and three days before he decides, actually, he is working. And not only that, we can reschedule the day around him (and he doesn't consider that this rescheduling leaves me with nothing to do but wait around for most of the day, on his convenience) and casually mentions it while in the bathroom so he can't hear my answer. (Possibly a good thing.)
Everything's okay again now, cos I do have a backup plan and tomorrow is going to be great fun, but...I'm sort of hurt that the way we resolved it was by...resolving nothing. By ignoring it and acting like it's all okay, when really, I'm hurt by it. He's always saying how he'd never work on a Sunday cos Sunday's roleplay day. How is my birthday, which is roleplay day and MY BIRTHDAY less important than that? And I can't bring it up with him, cos, Addy's great, and having met people with REAL SEVERE avoidance issues I wouldn't sully him with that label, but he does it a bit.
When he's uncomfortable, he clams right up and refuses to talk about it, even if you're saying, "Hey, dude, I'm hurt here, why are you doing this?" He sort of retreats into a corner where he's right all the time. He does it when you hit too close to the bone. I suppose this is not unusual. Usually I'm just better at being a little bitch and breaking my opponent out of that coccoon of safety and forcing them into a confrontation. Yay. Go me.
I dunno. It's just, I was really looking forward to it. I'd make plans and was depending on him, and he toppled the whole thing and then when he got told he hurt me, he clammed up and got defensive, like Kevie was the one making him feel bad. And I should just get over it - I mostly have, I'm back to enjoying chatting to him again and all that good stuff. I just...feh. Underneath that I'm sad and upset my birthday got wrecked and I feel guilty for not articulating that to him, and cross that if I did all I'd do is make things worse.
Woe is me. I'm emo.
Also, I got an ace card from the kids who live next door to my parents (I used to babysit for them). Supposedly it's Dark Side Jedi vs. Doctor Who, but I'm a little confused as to who the characters are (usually I'm pretty good at deciphering their 'more enthusiasm than talent' sketches). Cos, Cassandra's pretty obvious. The Doctor's obvious because he's saying, "I'm the Doctor," and the TARDIS is blue. I think I know which one is K9, and there's a Cat Nun, although she looks more like the Pope. But Rose is...yeah, I'm guessing she's the squashed up figure in black shufted behind the TARDIS as a sort of afterthought. Aah, boys.
Anyway, I'm doing pretty good on the DW side, it's the Star Wars side that's confusing me. Yoda's green, which is lucky. But the other two? One has a blue lightsaber and one has a green lightsaber and they're both in black. So where's the dark Jedi? Cos they all have red lightsabers! Dammit!
(Yes, I hear you all saying, you're being too literal. This is an eight year old's drawing, helped out by his six year old brother. Nope, no dice. This kid is a GEEK. Last year, I got Count Dooku vs. Anakin, and ALL LIGHTSABERS WERE PROPERLY COLOURED. I'm tellin' ya, I'm the one who's missing something, not him...)
Signing off,
Becka.
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no subject
Date: 2006-08-09 09:41 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-08-09 10:22 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-08-10 12:54 am (UTC)So happy birthday!! ^_^
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Date: 2006-08-10 09:21 am (UTC)Anyway, thanks for stopping by. :)