Thanks so much for commenting. It's really interesting to hear from someone who did identify with the vid, and I can completely understand why because, yeah, it absolutely is an interesting pattern to notice - even more so if it's one that you find personally interesting, and there's always space to recognise great editing!
So I'm really glad that this post comes across as not critical of anyone who liked it or found interesting stuff in it, and also glad that there is space within the vid to watch it, like it, and not feel the pressure to engage in deadly srs introspection.
And also glad I'm not the only one who noticed the pattern in wider fandom of being concerned it was a Disturbing Social Trend.
So? I like that you posted this too? ;)
I have actually seen giandujakiss's post and it was primary the one I was thinking of when I added that I'd seen a few other opinions. I seriously considered linking to it, but it was a fairly low key discussion from what I remember and I wasn't sure if I wasn't going to come across as a jerk and didn't want to be seen as co-opting or presenting her opinions as the same as mine were that the case (why yes, I can worry about EVERYTHING!)
But it's definitely a link I had ready for further-reading-comment-linking, so thanks for mentioning it.
And I'm definitely relieved I'm not the only one who gets the uncomfortable shaming vibes from the discussion. Guilt and shame are...so rarely useful, because it doesn't change anything it just makes everyone hide away or feel shit about themselves and nothing changes. It's especially frustrating when viewed from a vantage point that the shame is unnecessary in the first place.
Honestly, I do find it interesting that a significant segment of female-dominated fandom can bond and get off to the pain and suffering of fictional menz, and I like that this vid has provoked Thoughts about that. But your post is a good reminder that well-meaning meta can get out of hand. This is NOT a Universal Treatise on Fandom and Female Sexuality, y'all.
Thank you, (though obviously it's not just my post saying so!), and I pretty much agree with everything there. It's interesting, but it's not universal, it's not everyone, and it's not...a really big, horrible, scary issue.
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Date: 2010-08-25 11:40 am (UTC)So I'm really glad that this post comes across as not critical of anyone who liked it or found interesting stuff in it, and also glad that there is space within the vid to watch it, like it, and not feel the pressure to engage in deadly srs introspection.
And also glad I'm not the only one who noticed the pattern in wider fandom of being concerned it was a Disturbing Social Trend.
So? I like that you posted this too? ;)
I have actually seen
But it's definitely a link I had ready for further-reading-comment-linking, so thanks for mentioning it.
And I'm definitely relieved I'm not the only one who gets the uncomfortable shaming vibes from the discussion. Guilt and shame are...so rarely useful, because it doesn't change anything it just makes everyone hide away or feel shit about themselves and nothing changes. It's especially frustrating when viewed from a vantage point that the shame is unnecessary in the first place.
Honestly, I do find it interesting that a significant segment of female-dominated fandom can bond and get off to the pain and suffering of fictional menz, and I like that this vid has provoked Thoughts about that. But your post is a good reminder that well-meaning meta can get out of hand. This is NOT a Universal Treatise on Fandom and Female Sexuality, y'all.
Thank you, (though obviously it's not just my post saying so!), and I pretty much agree with everything there. It's interesting, but it's not universal, it's not everyone, and it's not...a really big, horrible, scary issue.