![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
beccatoriaSo. Thursday is over.
*1,000 yard stare*
I have to admit, I've broken down in tears upon coming home twice and wondered what the fuck I've let myself in for on a near...hourly basis. It's probably only 30% more terrifying than I was realistically expecting, but about 60% more terrifying than I was hoping for.
The good news is, while the learning curve is a bitch, I do think I'm learning. Only my first day was truly horrible, the next three were just...crazy. And this is me on 65% of my normal schedule. Then starting on the 18th I'll go up to about 85% of my normal schedule then in September I'll be up to teaching like....38 forty minute classes a week.
Which to be honest is what I'm really panicking about by now. With four to five classes a day, I'm actually doing okay. It gets a bit crazy when I have three back to back and I'm running all over the school, but I'm getting better.
I'm learning how to spin an A4 picture of someone saying, "I am reading!" into a 40 minute lesson for six year olds who can't sit still for more than three minutes and who don't speak the same language as me.
I would note that the smaller schedule to start is the ONLY concession to my utter lack of experience (which they knew about) in my first two weeks of "training." I put "training" in quotes because there is no training. I got there the first day, two minutes before my first class because I'd been sent to the hospital for my health check and it was going to be ages, and they said, "Don't worry if you're late just get here as soon as you can." So I busted my ass in the SWELTERING HEAT to make it on time if I possibly could anyway, at which point I got thrown into a class of nine six-and-seven year olds, a book, and NO IDEA what was going on.
STILL on a daily basis the Korean co-teachers (that means basically, they teach the exact same stuff as you first to the same kids, and then you get to go in and teach it to them and have to somehow make it more interesting so you don't have a RIOT on your hands) tell me stuff that I had no idea I was doing wrong. Really basic crap like, "By the way, they have home study work books and you need to check they've done their homework and mark it." OH THANKS. Literally, no one has told me anything about the actual classroom workbooks they have, except for one teacher mentioning, "Oh and mark their workbooks," which, it turned out, meant she was asking me to check the work they'd done at the end of her class because she hadn't had time. So, um, I did. And I get them to do their workbooks and mark them in my classes to because that seems sensible, but I swear, I have no idea if I'm right. It seems basically, get them to open the books and see if anyone's done any work, and if they haven't...make them do it?
Really. A SINGLE DAY of observing people teach and learning tips about how to spin out material would have been useful. AS WOULD BEING GIVEN A DRYMARKER BEFORE MY SECOND DAY. Or, you know, scissors and glue since it seems everyone else uses them all the damn time, but when they hired an extra teacher this year it didn't occur to them to actually get extra materials so I share a scissor pot with someone else and I didn't even find THAT out until today.
I think it's well-meaning chaos and as long as my kids are learning stuff and aren't vandalising anything it's all good, but...I think this is culture shock, you know? I'm not sat at home freaking out because I can't read the signs and had to get my wrangler to write "bin bags" in Korean on a post-it note to find some. That stuff, I'm fine with. But the happy-go-lucky-just-get-on-with-it-throw-you-in-the-deep-end approach to stuff is...like a total shock to the system.
I'm paranoid I'm doing a bad job and no one's telling me. I would like to know if I'm doing a good job. I can't tell if the co-teachers are pissed off with me for not knowing stuff or for mistaking her tape recorder for the room's tape recorder, or if they figure, hey, no big deal. One of the co-teachers is REALLY nice, but he's the one co-teacher I never co-teach with. Three of the co-teachers are at least nice to me even if they're not always very helpful and we don't always understand each other very well (apparently being a english language co-teacher doesn't actually require a very high level of english fluency). And then there's the one that me and Kev are learning to hate. Who threw a book at him five minutes before his first lesson EVER and ran off without speaking to him or explaining anything. I think I'm just afraid of them because there are all sorts of clauses in our contract that we can get fired if the co-teachers decide they can't work with us. And I don't think SHE wants to work with ANYONE.
So, yeah. Basically I hate or am afraid of most of it right now because I am a panicky person, but I am convinced that even though I can't currently imagine it, I will not always feel this way. I mean, I didn't come here because it was gonna be easy, right? So suck it up, Becka. *whimper*
Though, I gotta say, the one part of the job I actually kind of like - as in, I still panic before class and have spasms of "GOD I DON'T WANT TO GO IN THERE," but when I am in the class, it's usually actually kind of fun - is the Kindergarten classes.
Which is a misnomer, because they're actually six and seven, but they're my favourite classes. Because the kids are really great fun and very friendly and they'll try stuff. Like, okay, you have to keep your eye on them ALL THE TIME and they WILL NOT sit down, they just get up for no reason, and constantly bug you for bathroom passes, and don't listen and try to eat the glue or stab each other with scissors. But when I ask them to sing a song they enjoy it. When I ask them questions they answer, and they LIKE answering. They like being picked out to come write on the board or give the answer.
And they're very honest.
Once they hit nine or ten they get...I dunno. Shy, I guess? Ask them to play a game or sing a song and they look at you like you're from MARS or something. It's really disheartening and frightening since I have to teach so little material each lesson, games, drawing that sort of stuff is kind of what I rely on.
The younger kids love doing intonation like music to get sentence intonation right. The older kids pretend they don't even understand what I'm asking them to do, even though I'm sure they do. OH which reminds me, the other frustrating thing. The older kids - I'll ask them if they understand something I've explained, and I'm sure that they do because I know it's something they're supposed to know already. But the lesson requires I teach them the definitions of these words, so I try to with pictures and pantomimes and stuff, and then I ask, "Do you understand?" AND THEY STARE BLANKLY AT ME. What the hell is that about? It's not a multiple choice question!
Argh. Sorry. Venting frustration. And the fact that I magically, tomorrow, have to teach an entire forty minute class on "These are curtains." And then on Monday, I HAVE TO DO IT AGAIN WITH THE SAME CLASS. o.O
Unfortunately I think I'm already teaching a Kindergarten class in every available slot during the times I work, so when my classes increase, I'll be getting more older kids.
So, um, yeah. To sum up, I really don't love it, I'm homesick, it's getting better in tiny, tiny amounts but it is getting better every day so I'm hoping if I can keep that up, eventually it will be all right. Smaller Children > Bigger Children. And I'm mostly terrified at this point of how I'll manage all my lesson prep and how I'll handle teaching like, eight classes a day with only two half hour breaks in September. o.O
If any of y'all wanna cheer me up, play this meme with me that I gacked from![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
pellucid! Any show I watch (I know it's not a huge amount, but if you ask about a show I haven't seen, I may still know the characters, or, um, I'll make it up!)
Pick a fandom, and I'll tell you which character(s) I would
1. bake cupcakes for:
2. trust with the keys to my car (if I had a car):
3. put thumbtacks on their chair:
4. have a crush on:
5. pack up and leave if they moved next door:
6. vote for President:
7. pick as my partner in a buddy movie:
8. pair up:
9. vote off the island and into the volcano:
10. wheedle into fixing my MP3 player:
And that's all for now, folks!
*1,000 yard stare*
I have to admit, I've broken down in tears upon coming home twice and wondered what the fuck I've let myself in for on a near...hourly basis. It's probably only 30% more terrifying than I was realistically expecting, but about 60% more terrifying than I was hoping for.
The good news is, while the learning curve is a bitch, I do think I'm learning. Only my first day was truly horrible, the next three were just...crazy. And this is me on 65% of my normal schedule. Then starting on the 18th I'll go up to about 85% of my normal schedule then in September I'll be up to teaching like....38 forty minute classes a week.
Which to be honest is what I'm really panicking about by now. With four to five classes a day, I'm actually doing okay. It gets a bit crazy when I have three back to back and I'm running all over the school, but I'm getting better.
I'm learning how to spin an A4 picture of someone saying, "I am reading!" into a 40 minute lesson for six year olds who can't sit still for more than three minutes and who don't speak the same language as me.
I would note that the smaller schedule to start is the ONLY concession to my utter lack of experience (which they knew about) in my first two weeks of "training." I put "training" in quotes because there is no training. I got there the first day, two minutes before my first class because I'd been sent to the hospital for my health check and it was going to be ages, and they said, "Don't worry if you're late just get here as soon as you can." So I busted my ass in the SWELTERING HEAT to make it on time if I possibly could anyway, at which point I got thrown into a class of nine six-and-seven year olds, a book, and NO IDEA what was going on.
STILL on a daily basis the Korean co-teachers (that means basically, they teach the exact same stuff as you first to the same kids, and then you get to go in and teach it to them and have to somehow make it more interesting so you don't have a RIOT on your hands) tell me stuff that I had no idea I was doing wrong. Really basic crap like, "By the way, they have home study work books and you need to check they've done their homework and mark it." OH THANKS. Literally, no one has told me anything about the actual classroom workbooks they have, except for one teacher mentioning, "Oh and mark their workbooks," which, it turned out, meant she was asking me to check the work they'd done at the end of her class because she hadn't had time. So, um, I did. And I get them to do their workbooks and mark them in my classes to because that seems sensible, but I swear, I have no idea if I'm right. It seems basically, get them to open the books and see if anyone's done any work, and if they haven't...make them do it?
Really. A SINGLE DAY of observing people teach and learning tips about how to spin out material would have been useful. AS WOULD BEING GIVEN A DRYMARKER BEFORE MY SECOND DAY. Or, you know, scissors and glue since it seems everyone else uses them all the damn time, but when they hired an extra teacher this year it didn't occur to them to actually get extra materials so I share a scissor pot with someone else and I didn't even find THAT out until today.
I think it's well-meaning chaos and as long as my kids are learning stuff and aren't vandalising anything it's all good, but...I think this is culture shock, you know? I'm not sat at home freaking out because I can't read the signs and had to get my wrangler to write "bin bags" in Korean on a post-it note to find some. That stuff, I'm fine with. But the happy-go-lucky-just-get-on-with-it-throw-you-in-the-deep-end approach to stuff is...like a total shock to the system.
I'm paranoid I'm doing a bad job and no one's telling me. I would like to know if I'm doing a good job. I can't tell if the co-teachers are pissed off with me for not knowing stuff or for mistaking her tape recorder for the room's tape recorder, or if they figure, hey, no big deal. One of the co-teachers is REALLY nice, but he's the one co-teacher I never co-teach with. Three of the co-teachers are at least nice to me even if they're not always very helpful and we don't always understand each other very well (apparently being a english language co-teacher doesn't actually require a very high level of english fluency). And then there's the one that me and Kev are learning to hate. Who threw a book at him five minutes before his first lesson EVER and ran off without speaking to him or explaining anything. I think I'm just afraid of them because there are all sorts of clauses in our contract that we can get fired if the co-teachers decide they can't work with us. And I don't think SHE wants to work with ANYONE.
So, yeah. Basically I hate or am afraid of most of it right now because I am a panicky person, but I am convinced that even though I can't currently imagine it, I will not always feel this way. I mean, I didn't come here because it was gonna be easy, right? So suck it up, Becka. *whimper*
Though, I gotta say, the one part of the job I actually kind of like - as in, I still panic before class and have spasms of "GOD I DON'T WANT TO GO IN THERE," but when I am in the class, it's usually actually kind of fun - is the Kindergarten classes.
Which is a misnomer, because they're actually six and seven, but they're my favourite classes. Because the kids are really great fun and very friendly and they'll try stuff. Like, okay, you have to keep your eye on them ALL THE TIME and they WILL NOT sit down, they just get up for no reason, and constantly bug you for bathroom passes, and don't listen and try to eat the glue or stab each other with scissors. But when I ask them to sing a song they enjoy it. When I ask them questions they answer, and they LIKE answering. They like being picked out to come write on the board or give the answer.
And they're very honest.
Once they hit nine or ten they get...I dunno. Shy, I guess? Ask them to play a game or sing a song and they look at you like you're from MARS or something. It's really disheartening and frightening since I have to teach so little material each lesson, games, drawing that sort of stuff is kind of what I rely on.
The younger kids love doing intonation like music to get sentence intonation right. The older kids pretend they don't even understand what I'm asking them to do, even though I'm sure they do. OH which reminds me, the other frustrating thing. The older kids - I'll ask them if they understand something I've explained, and I'm sure that they do because I know it's something they're supposed to know already. But the lesson requires I teach them the definitions of these words, so I try to with pictures and pantomimes and stuff, and then I ask, "Do you understand?" AND THEY STARE BLANKLY AT ME. What the hell is that about? It's not a multiple choice question!
Argh. Sorry. Venting frustration. And the fact that I magically, tomorrow, have to teach an entire forty minute class on "These are curtains." And then on Monday, I HAVE TO DO IT AGAIN WITH THE SAME CLASS. o.O
Unfortunately I think I'm already teaching a Kindergarten class in every available slot during the times I work, so when my classes increase, I'll be getting more older kids.
So, um, yeah. To sum up, I really don't love it, I'm homesick, it's getting better in tiny, tiny amounts but it is getting better every day so I'm hoping if I can keep that up, eventually it will be all right. Smaller Children > Bigger Children. And I'm mostly terrified at this point of how I'll manage all my lesson prep and how I'll handle teaching like, eight classes a day with only two half hour breaks in September. o.O
If any of y'all wanna cheer me up, play this meme with me that I gacked from
pellucid! Any show I watch (I know it's not a huge amount, but if you ask about a show I haven't seen, I may still know the characters, or, um, I'll make it up!) Pick a fandom, and I'll tell you which character(s) I would
1. bake cupcakes for:
2. trust with the keys to my car (if I had a car):
3. put thumbtacks on their chair:
4. have a crush on:
5. pack up and leave if they moved next door:
6. vote for President:
7. pick as my partner in a buddy movie:
8. pair up:
9. vote off the island and into the volcano:
10. wheedle into fixing my MP3 player:
And that's all for now, folks!
