MOVE OVER TWILIGHT!

Eating your fetus out of your dead wife and having a penis that sparkles in the sun? PSHAW.

I have it on good authority that the Wess'Har Series by Karen Traviss actually features:

- Special immortals who hate the curse of their immortality (but it's hard scifi, honest, because they're only immortal because they're infected by a parasite that means their GENES MUTATE to allow them to survive ANYTHING).
- A romance between the lead male and female character, and, when the male character gets infected with the parasite IT MAKES THE TATTOO ON HIS PENIS GLOW WITH BIOLUMINESCENCE.
- When the lead female character accidentally gets knocked up and decides she can't have the kid because OMG it would be DOOMED to INVINCIBILITY and people cannot be TRUSTED with this parasite, she tries to kill it, and when that fails because it's invincible she cuts it out of herself without anaesthetic and then blows it up with a grenade. Because apparently grenades>a parasite that can fix you up so SPACE doesn't kill you.

REALLY.

Now, fair warning, I've never read these, nor have I read Twilight. And I'm told that the writing in general is better than the writing in Twilight.

BUT

I really think that A MAGICAL GLOWING PENIS AND GRENADING YOUR OWN FETUS TO SAVE IT FROM IMMORTALITY > A HYPOTHETICALLY SPARKLING PENIS AND EATING YOUR OWN FETUS OUT OF ITS MOTHER.

I mean...there's at least debate there, right?

Is it wrong I almost want to read these books now?

Also, "Grenading the fetus," totally needs to be a euphamism for something related to...shark jumpting WTFery. Y/Y?

OH KAREN TRAVISS, NO.