beccatoria: (hammertime!)
[personal profile] beccatoria
OH THANK [INSERT DEITY/HIGHER POWER/EXPLETIVE OF YOUR CHOICE] FOR THAT.

Really. I know the polls predicted it but I didn't trust them after the illegalities of the last two and just...just...hope is fragile and I honestly felt like I had to convince myself losing was a possibility or I wouldn't be able to handle the crushing despair that would take me if it happened against the odds.

I was too afraid to take it for granted. So I'm just...massively massively relieved.

Like there's an actual feeling of adrenaline-relief going through my entire body, and I don't think I realised I was quite so consciously blocking feeling anything about it until it was over.

It's so weird to have a President I think was put into office legally.

I always loved that line, "I might not have voted for him, but he's my President," (though clearly not enough to remember who said it) as a way of approaching the idea that you can still expect your President to be responsible and honourable and good at the job even if it wasn't the President you hoped for (and conversely I guess it can be used to suggest that you need to shut up and support everything that President does, but I don't like thinking about it that way).

It was a really weird day when I realised that I didn't feel that way about George Bush. I didn't feel like I could claim him as my President because I didn't think he was anyone's President. Our President was elsewhere.

It's sort of weirder to now feel that there's someone in that office who is my President.

Yeah. It's...a sense of slightly dazed wonder that democracy worked this time and massive, massive relief.

Anyway, I'll end there. Everyone and their dogs are making posts about this, but that's as it should be.

ETA: So I finally got to watch Obama's victory speech. It was a good speech. I actually cried which makes me feel sort of dorky because while I cry at the drop of a hat, usually not about like, at speeches that I'm acutely aware are very cleverly crafted and think are about 50% excellent and 50% very cheesy.

Partly it was that "tears of joy brought on by adrenaline and emotional-all-over-the-placeness." I think it was also just because it kind of hit me how enormously huge this is, that I actually helped somehow, and that it's both wonderful and absolutely fucking terrifying.

Wonderful for obvious reasons; terrifying because it's so big. The everything's such a mess, the job is so huge, and it seems so impossible. I think true, honest hope goes hand in hand with terror. Because if there's no real and frightening chance that you might fail, it's not really hope, it's just an expectation.

I think perhaps this is the first time I've felt safe enough to really consider having hope, and the enormity, and, yes, to steal a quote, the audacity of that are...enough apparently to reduce me to tears.

Hugely relieved here, too.

Date: 2008-11-13 07:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hmpf.livejournal.com
The end of civilisation occurring within our lifetimes has become just that tiny bit less likely. Which, given that it felt like it was practically guaranteed, is actually a *huge* improvement.

(I really, really wish I didn't live in a world that made me sound like a tinfoil-hatted madperson so often...)

Re: Hugely relieved here, too.

Date: 2008-11-14 03:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] beccatoria.livejournal.com
The end of civilisation occurring within our lifetimes has become just that tiny bit less likely. Which, given that it felt like it was practically guaranteed, is actually a *huge* improvement.

YAY! You're right, that is always good to know.

(I really, really wish I didn't live in a world that made me sound like a tinfoil-hatted madperson so often...)

If it helps, I find your tinfoil hat very fetching and thoroughly expect it to look a good bit less ridiculous to others in fifty years time?

Re: Hugely relieved here, too.

Date: 2008-11-14 04:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hmpf.livejournal.com
>If it helps, I find your tinfoil hat very fetching and thoroughly expect it to look a good bit less ridiculous to others in fifty years time?

No, actually that doesn't help at all, and I really *want* it to look utterly ridiculous in fifty years time.

Re: Hugely relieved here, too.

Date: 2008-11-14 04:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] beccatoria.livejournal.com
I WILL NOT BE FOILED IN MY ATTEMPTS TO SPIN THIS IN A POSITIVE FASHION, WOMAN!

Therefore:

Either you're right and therefore aren't wearing a tinfoil hat, or we all get to live!

It's not exactly a win-win situation, but at least it means that you don't have to die while wearing a ridiculous tinfoil hat?

Re: Hugely relieved here, too.

Date: 2008-11-16 07:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nomoreanonymous.livejournal.com
Have more faith in the future. If we think times are tough now imagen how people must of felt during the height of the cold war, cuban missle crisis etc. Are world is rather peachy compared to how grim that must of been. I guess they didnt have 24 hour news channels though :P

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