New year - new poetry!

[beccatoria]

Happy New Year everyone!

I've been meaning to write a proper entry about fannish things, but instead, being on something of a poetry kick, I decided to commit poetry fan fic. Or something. I have written a poem about Starbuck!


It's a little grammatically odd but I feel that can be overlooked because this is a bonafide englyn! Except in english instead of welsh. I feel that this is an achievement not to be overlooked because of all the stupid, restrictive rules of an englyn. Those being:

1. Four lines, first line has seven syllables, a "-" and then three syllables, second line has six, third and fourth lines have seven.

2. Rhyme in introduced in the seventh syllable of the first line, repeated in the last syllable of all other lines.

3. All lines must be lines of cynghanedd. If you do not know what this is, be grateful! It is a complicated system of alliteration and/or internal rhyming within a line. If you do know what it is, but if mine is too poor to be easily recognised, it is as follows:

Line 1 (before the gwant): Cynghanedd lusg.
Line 1 (after the gwant) and line 2: Cynghanedd draws (just couldn't get croes to work).
Line 3: Cynghanedd sain.
Line 4: Cynghanedd lusg.

So yes. Go me. Englyns and such.

starbuck's englyn

firefly falling skyward - destiny
here's destitute, but heard.
her lovers over outward
signs of grief; this burnt, brief, bird.

edited because after all that, I accidentally left out a word while typing this up that (obviously) threw out the syllable count. It's back to its original form now. D'oh!

Comments

[spiralsheep.livejournal.com]

Tragically, I must admit I already knew what an englyn is and also that when people say Triads it takes a moment for my brain to switch from Welsh poetry to Chinese gangsters, heh.

[beccatoria.livejournal.com]

Dude, there's nothing tragic about already knowing what an englyn is. It only makes you cooler. Hearing the word "triad" always does conjure up images of Chinese gangsters to me, but that's probably only because I live with the son of one (err, as a friend. My boy's father, while many things, is not part of any organised criminal network that we're aware of...)

Anyway, your icon is awesome and I really am pleased that you already knew about englyns. If it's not impolite to ask, how come? Are you from wales, or do you just have an interest in poetry?

[spiralsheep.livejournal.com]

Le Guin is probably both my favourite author and the author of several of my favourite books so I had to have one of her greatest hits quotes on an icon now I have an embarrassing number of icon spaces. I might add "To light a candle is to cast a shadow" later too. Genius!

I love poetry and one of my friends studied medieval Welsh literature so I read a selection of books about the subject (from the weird to the mildly academic). The Triads are made of win. Since then I've acquired a bi-lingual Welsh godson called Taliesin (or, more usually, Tal). You'd appreciate his variety of Welshness because he speaks Welsh as a North Wales native but English with a London accent. :-)

[beccatoria.livejournal.com]

...gah! Just had to edit the post because I left out a word. After working all afternoon on the darned thing!

Le Guin is made of win. She's just amazing. I want to be her when I grow up. Her influence on my attitudes to things is subtle but immense.

You probably know a lot more about welsh poetry than me. I just remember, half-garbled, what they tried to impress upon me at school. So much respect to your knowledge there. And to this icon too.

I have a cousin named Taliesin and called Tal for short. But he's not bilingual nor from north wales and is also about two years old and I've never met him. He's currently growing up on an estate in west wales near another cousin, Shakira. Yes. Shakira. Like the Columbian singer.

Your Taliesin, however, sounds awesome. Even if he is a Gog ;) Hooray for welsh people who speak fluent native welsh but english with an english accent! SOON WE WILL TAKE OVER THE GALAXY.

[asta77.livejournal.com]

I had no idea what an englyn was so the explanation help - a lot. :) And I am also very impressed. That is far too many rules for me to follow.

[beccatoria.livejournal.com]

Thanks :) It's usually too many rules for me to follow too; I'm not a huge fan of rules in poems. But it can make for interesting excercises. There are one or two fragments in there I quite like and never would have thought of without the structure forcing me to work within it.

I forget what the word for "poetry with rules" is in english, if we have one, but I always thought the welsh phrase was very apt - "barddoniaeth caeth" - "enslaved/imprisoned poetry." Our word for library, "llyfrgell" means "book cell". I'm sure it's just an old word for room or something, but I always liked the images of words being so powerful writing them down meant keeping them prisoner, somehow.

[projectcyborg.livejournal.com]

I like it very much. it's the grammatical incoherence that makes it work -- it highlights the lyricism of the rigid structure, whereas if it were in straight-up sentences it would seem pat. "this burnt, brief, bird" is so pretty and so Starbuck.

[beccatoria.livejournal.com]

I like it very much. it's the grammatical incoherence that makes it work -- it highlights the lyricism of the rigid structure

Woohoo! My inability to end sentences at the end of the line finally works to my advantage!

But in all seriousness, thanks for the feedback. I'm not always good at articulating my goals with regards to either writing or poetry, but I think this was what I wanted. One of my least favourite parts about the challenge was the necessity to rhyme every line and I was convinced four rhymes in a row would seem horribly pat, so I tried to hide them. And as it happens, I now think that it works rather nicely. Honestly? It probably just means I should trust in the structure a little more and admit it's been around for centuries for a reason. :)

"this burnt, brief, bird" is so pretty and so Starbuck.

Thank you. That's probably the part of the poem I'm most proud of. Mainly because, at the risk of sounding arrogant, I think it's the most elegant part of the piece but also because it's the part I would least likely have written if it were not for the restrictions I was under. It was borne from desperation for a four syllable ending, combined with a desperate feeling that I hadn't managed to express the point yet.

Wow.

[hmpf.livejournal.com]

Imprisoned poetry? Beauty can be born behind bars, it seems. (Well, of course it can. That was a stupid thing to say.)

Anyway: me likes!

(Immortal Welsh Guy Icon to celebrate your englyn.)