BSG Meta: Caprica Six - I worked out why I love her.

[beccatoria]

I mean, not that I need a reason to love her cus she's awesome and all, but it's interesting to see how she fits in with other things I love. Cus turns out (not entirely unexpectedly) I got kinks for Loving the Shit out of the Crappy Universe and also the Terror of Freedom.

So there's this awesome book called Traitor. One of the great cruelties of the crappy universe that I wish everyone would love the shit out of is that this is a Star Wars novel set in the middle of a ridiculously long series of 19 other novels of highly variable quality set like twenty-five years after Return of the Jedi. So like, clearly nearly none of y'all will have read it.

That's okay. You don't need to. The protagonist isn't actually that much like Caprica. His story isn't the same as hers. He spends most of the novel getting to a place where loving the shitty universe and being far too free are issues for him, while Caprica's been struggling with those things since the first day we, and an unfortunate infant, met her.

Even then, they're hardly similar. But the themes of the novel are awesome. And I'm gonna quote some stuff here because it says it far better than I could. And these ideas are absolutely relevant to why I love her like I love pie.

"When you always know what  is  right, where  is freedom? No one chooses the wrong, Jacen Solo. Uncertainty sets you free."

and,

"You're not making any sense! How old are you? Seventeen? Eighteen? You don't even really know who you are!"

"I don't have to know.  All I have to do is decide," Jacen answered serenely. "Choose, and act."

"I am not leaving you here!"

"That's up to you."

and,

Jacen can answer only with regret and sadness.

Yes. I betrayed you. I taught you to trust, and I taught you what it means to trust a traitor. He cannot teach it forgiveness.  He has not learned that lesson yet himself: there is too much he will never forgive.

/snip/

Jacen had learned that one can meet the Universe and all its irrational pain--which means meeting oneself--with fear, or with hatred, or with despair. Or one can choose to meet it with love. Jacen had chosen.

But still, he was astonished to discover that the Universe could  love  him back.

So like, it's that last part that kills me. And it's that last line that Caprica's never gotten, and that I want for her desperately in some form, in the finale. Because if she gets it, then her character arc works for me, on a show-wide level, spectacularly. And if she doesn't, I wonder...what was the point of it all?

Traitor is one of my favourite books. Not only because it's an entire novel devoted to philosophy, torture and deconstructing the entirety of Jedi dogma, but because of the quotes above. Because it's about how freedom isn't safe and requires that you be uncertain. Because it's about how in the face of that uncertainty you can act fearful and hesitate, or you can make choices even if the consequences hurt you. Because it's about how eventually the consequences will hurt you, about how things aren't fair, about how in the face of all that uncertainty, and all the bravery it demands of you, you still, ultimately have a choice about how to respond. With fear, or with despair, or with hatred, or with love.

And that loving isn't about not hurting, or not being angry, or not fighting for something better. It's not about being serene or expecting because you love someone it'll make everything okay even in the face of terrible, terrible things. Love isn't exclusive of any of these things. Love is just the best we have in the face of a senseless existence. I might be angry with you, but I can still love you, too.

And that, guys, is Caprica all over. Not consciously. She's not an overthinker like Jacen Solo. But they took away her certainty, and that made her free. And she never stopped choosing, never started apologising for who she was even if she felt guilty for what she did, and most of all, no matter how it kept hurting her, she never stopped loving the shit out of this crummy, messed up universe.

All I want is for the universe to love her back.

Comments

[emmiere.livejournal.com]

Oh! Caprica meta! *hugs it close*

That last quote hit me hard, I'll second your wish for that. I want so much for them to remember to tie up these small character threads.

And she never stopped choosing

I think this is what I love most about her. None of this shit has ever knocked her down and made her turn inward or stop trying. She never gives less of herself, I don't even think she's capable of doing things halfway.

I very much wish I had more to offer besides, <3's this, but my brain needs a reboot after work. Seriously the best thing to come home and read though.

[beccatoria.livejournal.com]

Thank you - I'm glad you found something useful here.

I agree with you; I love how she can't do anything half-heartedly. I think my biggest pain in all of this is how Caprica really is treated as a minor character when I think she ought to be as important as Athena or Saul Tigh.

I've given up hoping for some actual conclusive happy ending for her, but I still hope there's at least a scene to handle where she's at and her ending. Something that shows she's moving forward, that she has hope, that she still loves and that something is loving her back. That's all I need. Just for her not to end this show run with another crippling loss.

[sache8.livejournal.com]

*dies laughing*

I read Traitor. Once. In fact, my very very first fanfic is a Traitor AU I wrote in the long stretch of waiting for it to come out. I discovered fanfic at the JC forums and got super ticked off that there were twenty thousand fanfics centered on some or all segments of the Kyp/Jaina/Jag triangle and not a single soul who cared that Jacen had been captured and was in peril.

Alas, my interest in the NJO just sort of stopped, like I'd run off a plateau about three books before it was over, and my interest in Star Wars novels has never, ever returned. It was the weirdest thing. Anyway, your comment about the obscurity of that particular book and my own ironic affinity with it in the grander scheme of fandom made me laugh heartily.

(By the way, that fanfic is the most gods-awful piece of sludge in any 'verse. It's got a spectacularly vibrant Mary Sue, Vong Romance, and Death by Exposition followed by Desecration by Extreme Sappiness. It's soooooo awful. I learned so much from writing it but I can't bring myself to even look at it anymore. Ever. Haha.)

Nice Caprica musings. ;-)

[beccatoria.livejournal.com]

OMG SRSLY? That's awesome! I am, for my sins, still embroiled in the Star Wars EU although I need to kickstart my investment in it again. Surprisingly it's the comics that are most awesome right now.

Although you'll be pleased unsurprised to learn that the JC fanfic forums STILL revolve around Jaina's love life. Except now it's Jag/Jaina/Zekk instead of Kyp. *sigh*

Anyway, that's totally awesome! And glad you liked the Caprica musings. ;)

[nightxade.livejournal.com]

What I love about Caprica is that she could be considered Teh Eeevil for her mega-role in the sedus-truction of the Colonies, and yet, prior to that event, there was that look on her face when she wanted to see the baby and then the deep regret when she snapped its neck by accident. How much of that did she feel when she died in the original explosion?

[nicole-anell.livejournal.com]

That really is one of the first moments this show sucked me in. I wasn't crazy enough to be like "Yeah, go Six! Team Cylon! Woohoo!" yet, but the look on her face in that scene just stuck with me. Honestly, BSG immediately scored points with me for doing something so horrific, and it scored even more points by allowing a hint of remorse and humanity from the person who did it.

[nightxade.livejournal.com]

I actually didnt see the mini-series until much further along in my BSG travels. Up until then, I was appreciating kick-ass evil Caprica.

I find it interesting that even the other characters have accorded her some level of forgiveness, which, considering her very name, is rather surprising.

[beccatoria.livejournal.com]

Yeah. I've always loved her ambguity and her ability to maintain genuine emotion and sympathy in the weirdest of circumstances. Although I do have to be honest; I always thought she snapped that kid's neck on purpose In a kind of merciful saving it from the nuclear apocalypse kind of way.

[nightxade.livejournal.com]

Interesting thought. Do you think it was still regret for so-doing afterwards?

I still wonder how much of her remembers that when she thinks of Liam.

[beccatoria.livejournal.com]

Yes, I still think it was regret. Or maybe not regret, but certainly pain on her face as she walked away.

And while it wasn't perhaps an accident, I also think that there was an element of...not surprise but she hadn't done anything like that before and just...processing? Like, wow. This is what pain feels like, you know? I think one of the reasons I love that scene so much is the impossibly complicated look on Helfer's face as she walks away. Where you have no idea of her motivations, but you see she has them and they're more complicated than MWAHAHAHAHAHAA I KILLED A BABY!

Regarding Liam, all I can hope is that she doesn't think it was karma because...I love her and... Dammit, I'M still not over the show killing Liam, I don't want her blaming herself for it. BREAK THE FOURTH WALL, CAPRICA. THERE IS A PERFECTLY GOOD PERSON TO BLAME. HIS NAME IS RONALD.

[nicole-anell.livejournal.com]

THERE IS A PERFECTLY GOOD PERSON TO BLAME. HIS NAME IS RONALD.
*giggle*

And I took it the same way as you. It's not really like *shock* that it happened and she didn't mean to, but there is a little surprise and definitely sadness there. I was left wondering why she did it because there's no direct explanation, but it was clear she *had* a reason and feelings about it.

I tend to go with the mercy-killing thing because Helfer's said it. But I did once write a fic around this more complex idea that... like, a part of her needed to face what was about to happen and her role in it, and deal with that. (My other personal fanon was that she would've done the same to Baltar, but in that immediate life-altering moment chose not to.)

[beccatoria.livejournal.com]

I like the mercy-killing explaination because in context it makes sense and because Helfer said it, etc. But I think it sells the story, and the moment short to make it only about that.

It comes close to white-washing it. And while that's positive in that that moment created a lot of the ZOMG CYLONS ARE IRREDEEMABLE stuff that floated around during season one, my reading of the show is, well, post-cylon-apologist?

I totally don't see why both things can't be true. I think your way of putting it is excellent - about facing her role in what's about to happen. Even if a part of that is simple curiousity about her role in what's to happen. And the fact it doesn't matter because everyone will be dead in a few hours. So really, it was a mercy-killing anyway.

Or something.

I did always wonder about her saving Baltar. It's not like it exactly feels unplanned. I mean, she went there to confess. But surely if she'd really wanted to save his life, she would have had a better plan than, "Gaius, get down." So yeah. I like the idea that it was a momentary decision, to save him if she could.

Plus it's like...totally the iconic moment of the entire series, really.

[nightxade.livejournal.com]

awwwwbaby how amazing oh. frak. fragile. broke it. why do i feel so awful? oh hell. maybe blowing up the humans isn't such a good idea. oh hell gaius who is she??? DON'T YOU LOVE ME????

And yes, she ought to go after Ron, but in the mean time, I'd really like to see her go after Ellen for killing Liam and I wish Tigh would see the same point and stop hanging out with her and go give Caprica a cuddle instead.

[chaila.livejournal.com]

I don't have my meta hat on at the moment, BUT I want to marry this sentence:

But they took away her certainty, and that made her free.

Now I totes want to compare Caprica to Laura re: certainty and freedom and prisons. Damn you.

E(again)TA: Um why yes I can make your Caprica post All About Laura. Sorry? :)

[beccatoria.livejournal.com]

Never apologise for bringing up Laura! I know I'm more distant from her lately and probably that's half of why I'm glomming onto Caprica like I am, but...I still love her deeply.

I think there's totally some interesting comparing to be done there. Unfortunately, I'm no longer as kindly disposed toward Laura on this trajectory as I previously would have been. Before I would probably have compared them as being similar, even though Laura had some firm ground to stand on; the prophecies to rely on, there was still the constant fear that they weren't right.

Having seen her faith in them utterly shattered; having seen her taken to a place of deeper uncertainty - arguably the place that Caprica was taken to when she woke up in that goo bath in Downloaded - and seeing her, well, break, I'm not sure if absolute freedom didn't wound Laura terribly.

Perhaps it's because for Laura it was incremental. She was uncertain; she was free; she made her choice and enslaved herself to it and when that choice collapsed...she didn't know what to do next?

To be fair to Laura, Caprica's choice after failing to lead her people to a better world was to run off and live in the enemy's brig for like, a year. So you know, as hilarious as Laura in Cavil's captivity would have BEEN, I'm kind of glad it didn't happen... ;)

[chaila.livejournal.com]

I think I probably should have used the word "contrast" rather than compare actually, because I think if there's anything Laura isn't, it's free. She and Caprica totally go on opposite trajectories; Caprica's certainty gets taken away and Laura enslaves herself to hers. It's probably just a difference in emphasis, because I tend to agree that Laura does more or less choose not to be free (yet, she doesn't say she takes the office, she says she accepts it and that always felt important). And the reason I love her for THAT is because her certainty isn't really for her (though partially of course it is, which is why she's so complex and awesome) but is rather more for everyone else's sake. She doesn't really believe her own certainty, not fully, for most of the series, but she's still imprisoned by it. Caprica would cut her own heart out for her certainty because she believes it; Laura would--and nearly does, over and over--cut hers out because she wants to believe it, for others. From the moment she takes the oath, she's not certain but she's totally faking it; and then they lie about Earth and the real bars come falling down to lock her in. It wasn't that she chose to try to lead her people to a better world; she had to because there was no where else to go. Must be nice to have the luxury of choosing what to believe in, Laura might say. She just had to grab what was in front on her, and then she was always going to MAKE it true, and she failed. So when her certainty gets taken away, what breaks her really is that it also got taken away from everyone else. It took away everything she earned by staying in prison, all that price she paid to stay certain. So yeah, freedom wounds her terribly but that's because her imprisonment, her certainty, wasn't for her anyway. So it's not really just her own wounds that break her; it's all the wounds she ever felt, all the wounds she couldn't prevent, and all the wounds she inflicted, all in the name of certainty she wanted so frakking badly to be true for others. *flails with so much love*

This is halfway making me ragey at the story for Laura they're trying to tell and telling so fucking badly because gods this choice stuff could have been awesome, and halfway hopeful for the end of Laura's story. Much of it can't be fixed, but like with Caprica, her character arc can maybe still make sense to me, even if I'll always have massive, ragey quibbles with some of these last details. And strangely, I totally want to take your wish for Caprica and substitute two words for what I'd ask for Laura, if I could get anything I wanted for the finale: All I want is for her people to love her back. OMGS WHAT AM I DOING HAVING FINALE HOPES FOR LAURA. *whimpers*

[nicole-anell.livejournal.com]

Okay, you? You need to stop stealing my brain and putting it into pretty words. I'M ON TO YOU.

But they took away her certainty, and that made her free.
Yes. This has totally been my touchstone for Caprica-Six since "Downloaded". What makes her so fragile and sad and yet gloriously awesome is that she had everything figured out so well once -- she would ~kill babies~ and cut out her own heart with that certainty, not because she wanted to but because it was the Right thing. And when she lost that, it was crazy-making and painful and made her all alone in the world. But now the world was so much bigger, and she could do *anything* in it.

And yeah, she keeps choosing over and over to love. And I'd say that waaaay too much of my enjoyment of the finale will be based on what that ends up getting her.


Edited to add: You NEED TO SEE THIS. I want a little clay Caprica-Six! I want to hug her!

[beccatoria.livejournal.com]

*note to self; spec out new sources from which to steal ideas* *looks twitchy* :p

(AND OMFG CLAY CAPRICA <3 <3 <3!!!)

And yeah, you're totally right. And it's completely why I fell for her too in that episode. I mean, I did get it - it was the loss of certainty. I always thought, the difference between Caprica and Head Six was that Head Six had that confidence and certainty magnified, while Caprica lost it entirely.

And also I loved how she had this insanely huge capacity for love, but somehow I never connected them together in this crazy cocktail of awesome that like... I know this sounds stupidly obvious but they're the same part of her. Like she becomes terrifyingly free, so what does she fall back on? How much she loves.

And then, like you say, she takes that love and her freedom and her huge, terrifying world, and actually does things in it. She sees she can do anything and like, actually does anything. I mean really. That's amazing. How many people who have that epiphany actually follow through?

Also agreed on the finale. They've already kind of trashed a lot of Laura for me which is leading to my unhealthy and probably doomed attachment to Caprica. I honestly don't need much. But I do need for the end to show her...still loving, with a purpose, and loved. It doesn't have to be a long scene. But I need something; some textual head nod that, it's okay, Becka. Caprica's gonna be all right. Caprica's gonna be awesome.

[nicole-anell.livejournal.com]

I always thought, the difference between Caprica and Head Six was that Head Six had that confidence and certainty magnified, while Caprica lost it entirely.
Yes, so true. I think there's some of that in the Baltar/HeadBaltar split too, but not exactly the same way.

Edit: Word to your last paragraph. *clings*

[pellucid.livejournal.com]

But they took away her certainty, and that made her free. And she never stopped choosing, never started apologising for who she was even if she felt guilty for what she did, and most of all, no matter how it kept hurting her, she never stopped loving the shit out of this crummy, messed up universe.

All I want is for the universe to love her back.

YES!

I'm not sure I have much to add, really, but I do think you nail what is so fascinating about Caprica, and what makes her really work as a character. I couldn't have put it into words like this, though. One of my goals for a rewatch is to pay closer attention to Caprica all the way through; I came to love her late this first time through, and I still feel like I don't know her as well as I'd like.

[beccatoria.livejournal.com]

To be honest with you, I think part of the problem is that the writers don't know her as well as they'd (or I'd like). They have these wonderful ideas for her on occasion because she's such an incredibly dynamic character and so incredibly unusual. But she's so unique I think it's often hard for them to come up with ways to actually fit her into stuff.

It's the same thing as always. I honestly wonder, if the writers had paid attention to her, if she'd be the same character she is now. How much of her amazing acceptance, quiet determination, amazing capacity to love is the result of character neglect and Tricia Helfer's delivery. The way when she suddenly rises to prominance and leads her people to New Caprica or snaps Boomer's neck or has magic baby visions and it feels like a riptide crescendo (at least to me), might be as much to do with Helfer's ability to make her such a strong and constant presence even in the face of the writers totally forgetting about her. Rather than a grand design.

Which isn't helpful to me because then I think, great, what if the writers can't actually be bothered to write a decent ending for her. If she's just "also there"?

*flails* My zen. I must reclaim it!

But I do feel so grateful that others see her like I do, and I really would love to know any of your thoughts on her on rewatch.